Beauty Buffet, Fat-Free, NoHo LA
Blame my residing in the black hole that is the San Fernando Valley, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen Los Angeles look so Los Angeles: beautiful people with tanned midriffs decorated a sprawling legendary Hollywood Hills estate, posing for pictures and baby-talking to expensive rat-sized dogs, while their glammy glasses caught the perfect sunshine.
So why the yoga-body hustle bustle? The half-caf-soy-vanilla-latte-drinking professionals of LA had united to stroll around a private fair showcasing pre-Emmy pampering: Body and Soul displayed their exercise bike, but Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory handed out beautiful “Apple Pie” candy apples that had me completely over counting calories. Yves Saint Laurent made up faces and painted nails, while MD Skincare gave on-the-spot facials, picking up where Trilogy Spa’s massage treatments left off. Sprinkled on the Silver Spoon Beauty Buffet (sponsored by Allure) were various designers: Red Monkey Designs asserted the thick cuff and spiraling leather watch movement is not over, with grommets and dyed cow-skins galore. Surfwear company Reef offered minimalist flip flops, a pair arguably valid proof of SoCal residency. T-bags showed their ought-to-be It Girl blouse, a casual marriage of a deep purple halter and emerald green tube top. Jam Bags presented their preppy pastel purses, complete with a white initial of choice. Attitude Bands made my day with their kitschy rubber band bracelets with sayings sure to radiate warm and fuzzy karma. Some were simple (“I make a difference”), a couple were were cute (“I have friends”), a few quirky (“Yes… they are my parents”), while others fittingly proclaimed “Talk to my agent” and “Los Angeles.”
Do I get LA points for unnoticing the television stars running about? I found out later about a J-Lo Hewitt appearance, along with fellow Party of Fiver Lacey Chabert, pop songstress Deborah Gibson, Tori Spelling, rock star princesses Nicole Ritchie and Kimberly Stewart… But I suppose it’s really LA points, zero; completely oblivious points, 50: it’s not as if I saw and feigned some cultured indifference, I simply failed to notice.
In fact, I looked around, and I realized, Emmy-schmemmies: sure, the award show means some hot gowns and guys, luke warm speeches, and wonders about who will win what. But despite being surrounded by splendidly 2% reduced fat persons, all I really wanted to know was how to score another caramel apple.
