Fashion Writer KRiSTOPHER DUKES

Paris Hilton “Paris Is My Cell Mate” Bracelet

18.May.2007, 08:25 am

paris bracelet
Better than Paris in April?

Paris in prison.

Think hot pink–even though the twenty-something heiress’s crunk-cruising sentence has already been shortened to twenty-some days in a solitary celeb cell, prop up Paris with Red Freckle’s “Paris Is My Cell Mate” bracelet.

More moving than a rubber band pushing you “Live Strong” and vaguely evoking a man who won a record-wrecking number of Tour de Frances single ball-y, a streak of “Paris Is My Cell Mate” pink is a reminder that, born into a name nouveau riche and brain enough to seek out PR ready to capitalize on you, success earned out of the easy envy of Everywoman can be yours, that–

Banking on anyone to completely clue you in, no matter how highly paid they are, is a chump’s choice heavy with ugly aftermath.

Like maybe a reality TV series. Sans makeup, platinum extensions, and DvF dresses.

I’ll take two bracelets.

» Red Freckles “Paris Is My Cell Mate” bracelet $5 via RedFreckles.com

» Interview with Red Freckles on ThisNext’s Blog

[Via ThisNext's Blog]



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5 Smart Remarks for “Paris Hilton “Paris Is My Cell Mate” Bracelet”

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  1. deena says:

    i beg you, please take a night class @ devry in Caucasian ebonics 101 so at least the broken English is readable. oh can you please post your book you talked about too because that must be so darn funny to read.

    p.s. soy lattes just r not cool, at all; find something new

  2. squeezy says:

    Devry offer REAL classes? who knew? Actually, I prefer Bryman College, the calibur of students is much better.

    However, Deens, you might like to know that EBONICS is actually defined as “the linguistic and paralinguistic features which on a concentric continuum represent the communicative competence of the West African, Caribbean, and United States slave descendant of African origin. Since 1996 it has been largely used to refer to African American Vernacular English (distinctively nonstandard Black United States English), emphasizing the independence of the latter from (standard) English.

    So Caucasion Ebonics is what one English professor might dub an OXYMORON. not to be confused with MORON, which of course I wouldn’t be calling you, not outright anyway.

  3. deena says:

    i didn’t realize that “your K” also goes by the term, “Squeezy” — nobody falls for your silly tricks. is that due to her plump behind, or just because she does not realize that there is an entire country in Africa that is POPULATED BY CAUCASIANS? hit capetown some day, K, to meet your fellow ebonics experts.

  4. KRiSTOPHER DUKES says:

    Dearest Deena,

    Thank you for reading, and, according to your IP address’s trail on my StatCounter (IP: 71.165.143.76 , pool-71-165-143-76.lsanca.fios.verizon.net), investing many hours patronizing KristopherDukes.com.

    As a serious fashion journalist, however, I am offended that you’ve referred to my buttox as “plump.” I work very hard to avoid eating, as evidenced by my constant referrals to soy lattes in my writings, and, should you ever be fortunate enough to see me in the (gaunt) flesh, an extremely prominent collar bone.

    Though as I reflect on your comment while sipping a soy latte as creamy white as my skin, because I am a Caucasian obviously infatuated with African Americanism and this Town of Cape I have recently been acquainted with thanks to your global awareness, I am considering being flattered at your misthinking my rump “plump.”

    I am also having my nutritionist compare the fat content and calories of a soy latte to a non-fat latte.

    Thank you for spending a large portion of your Sunday perusing my blog. It’s blushing neon pink at such a compliment.

    Please click an ad before exiting.

    Always yours,
    K

  5. squeezy says:

    obsess much, Deens? First of all, I’m not K but thank you for thinking so as she looks pretty hot. Second of all, it would behoove you to do some research before you go on spouting your ill concocted comments. Perhaps you missed the part of the definition where it says EBONICS is derived from SLAVES. Last time I checked, and forgive me if I’m wrong, aint no white man ever been a slave whether or not he lived on the continent of Africa. Also, as you may be aware since you are so obviously hip to world culture, the white people in the Cape of Good Hope, or as you so naively refrerred to as Cape Town, are actually Dutch descendants from the Dutch East India Company’s original settlement in 1652. That’s EAST INDIA not to be confused with actual INDIANS- dots or feathers.
    Perhaps you might also like to familiarize yourself with the racial segregation in South Africa commonly known as Apartheid beginning in 1948 and coming to its demise in 1993.
    Deens, I do suggest if you’re going to battle the wordsmiths you at least have your facts straight.

    God Bless

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Less into f**k-me shoes and more into f**k-you shoes, writer KRiSTOPHER DUKES blogs about Paris Hilton “Paris Is My Cell Mate” Bracelet, five-inch heels, It bags, and more. »

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