Yesterday I played domesticated cat: a call from The Boy and I hit Home Depot for rakes and pool poles for his palace, my means of bribing him to stay up later than his usual Wall Street, EST hours.昨天我打得驯养猫：呼吁从男孩和我击民政车厂rakes和池极点为他的宫殿，我的手段收买他，每次逗留不超过不迟他一贯的华尔街，美国东部时间。

In strip-mall suburbia right off the beach, a man welcomes me to the neighborhood.在带状购物中心郊区或右小康海滩上，一名男子在欢迎我到居委会。

“Nice dress, mammi!” "尼斯服饰， mammi ！ "

“Thank you, sexy,” I call after him, strapping tighter the belt on my leopard-print corduroy trench coat, click-clacking into the warehouse in "谢谢你，性感， "我请他后，捷联收紧皮带对我的豹-打印灯心绒短外套，点击clacking进入仓库 black peep-show-toed, Lucite-heeled pumps黑色窥视秀- toed ， lucite高跟鞋泵 . 。 I see a salesman, and I zoom in, with a businessman’s mind to save time.我看到一个推销员，我和放大，与一个商人的头脑，以节省时间。 “Where are the rakes?” "那里有rakes ？ "

“They are right there.” He points to the aisle just behind me. "他们说得对，有。 "他站到过道刚刚在我身后。

“But I need help finding the best.” I smile, I finger my belt, I cock my head, coy. "但我需要帮助寻找最好的。 " i笑容，我手指我的皮带，我公鸡我的头，事务。 “And I don’t know what is what.” "我不知道什么是什么原因… … "

“All right.” He climbs down his ladder, and escorts me to a rack of rakes, and I pick out a couple. "所有"的规定。他爬升了他的梯子，并护送我到一个机架的rakes ，我抽出一对夫妇。

“And I also need a hoe,” I say. "我还需要一个锄头， "我说。 “But not a girl.” " ，而不是一个女孩。 "

He chuckles, and hands me one.他接着指出，和手给我找一个。

“This is the Rolls Royce of hoes? "这是劳斯莱斯的锄头？ You’re sure?”你相信吗？ "

He laughs again.他又笑了。 “Anything else?” "凡是别人吗？ "

“An axe.” "斧头。 "

He blinks at me.他闪烁在我。 “What size? "什么尺寸？ For what?”做什么？ "

“A large tree. "大一棵树。 Or ex-husband.”或前夫。 "

He pauses, brain digesting my chatter like an over-baked meat loaf, then leans back and laughs.他停顿了一下，入脑，消化，我颤振，如超过焙肉面包，然后倾斜背部和笑着说。 I trail him ’round the warehouse, until he hands me an axe, a pool pole, and then arranges them like flowers in a vase in a dirty orange cart. i步道他说'轮仓库，直到他的手，请用斧头，一组一极，然后再安排他们喜欢鲜花插在花瓶里，在一个肮脏橙色购物车。 I thank him, my conversation a curtsey, and I drive off my cart in sixth gear, screeching to a stop at the self-check-out.我感谢他，我的谈话一curtsey的，我驾驶过我的购物车在第六齿轮， screeching处于停滞状态，在自我检查出来。

Men and a few women in dirty shorts and T’s look amused as I squeal while I almost drop the yard equipment that’s mostly taller than me, scanning bar codes, swiping my plastic money with my own dude’s name on it, only pausing when I see an apron’ed teenage boy.男子和少数妇女在肮脏的短裤和t的期待发笑，我尖叫，而我差点辍学庭院装备的大多是身高比我，扫描条码，刷卡我国塑料钱我自己谷的名字上，只停，当我看到一个apron'ed十几岁男孩。

“Can you help me out?” I smile, I blink my triple-mascara-coated lashes, I’m seeing the benefits of being less a Kristopher and more a prissy Krissy in my speech. "你能不能帮我出吗？ " i笑容，我眨眼我的三重媚妍睫毛液包覆鞭打，我看到的好处正在减弱kristopher ，更是一个prissy krissy在我的演辞。 “I’ll likely break something otherwise.” "我将有可能打破东西，否则。 "

He walks me out, my knight in the parking lot of slow moving dragons of mini-vans, and my ditz becomes less fun and more serious.他走了我，我的骑士在停车场的移动缓慢的小龙微型客货车，和我的ditz变得较少的乐趣，更严重。 “I forgot where I parked… I have a Mini Cooper, by the way.” "我忘了在哪里停泊…我有一个迷你库柏，由不二法门"

He clears his throat.他擦亮了他的喉咙。

“Jay kay! "杰伊凯！ Just kidding.只是在开玩笑。 It’s a coupe.”这是一个跑车。 "

He laughs, polite: I am the cute, crazy, kept woman now.他笑着说，礼貌：我是可爱的，疯了，保持现在女性。

After stuffing my car with the yard gear, he directs me to the Pacific Coast Highway, avoiding “south”s and “west”s for “left”s and “right”s in Chickalese, and I cruise through a hill of cookie-cutter homes before being dumped on the coast, onto a quiet road to The Boy’s Italiano villa, “The Castle,” I call it.馅后，我的汽车与堆场齿轮，他指示我到太平洋海岸公路，以避免"南方"和"西"局长"左"和"右" s在chickalese ，我邮轮通过希尔的曲奇-刀具家园，然后弃置于海岸，到一个安静的道路，以男孩的意大利文别墅， "城堡， "我叫。

I show The Boy the receipt.我说明了该名男童的收据。 “I’m the best assistant that never worked for you.” "我就是最好的助理说，从来没有工作过，为你"

“Thanks, honey.” He perky pecks me on my pout, Lucy-Desi style. "感谢，蜂蜜。 "他perky pecks在我的真空，露西-设计风格。 “All right, here’s your drug money.” And he counts cash to pay me back, and I think how this scene matches my hooker heels and smoked-out eyes and the neon pink and black lingerie beneath my trench coat. "没事儿，这里是你们的药钱"字。他计数现金支付，我回来了，而且我觉得怎么这种景象匹配我的hooker接踵而至熏出眼睛和霓虹灯粉红色及黑色内衣下方我的战壕大衣。

The Boy takes us to take-out, and 15 minutes later we sit in his dining room, overlooking the coast of Los Angeles glittering like little diamonds in middle-class marriage rings, eating dirty Mexican food.男孩需要我们采取淘汰，而15分钟后，我们坐在他的餐厅，俯瞰海岸的洛杉矶金光闪闪恰似点点钻石，在中产阶层的结婚戒指，饮食不洁墨西哥食物。

I undress myself for dessert. i脱下衣服，我自己甜品。 “That’s nice,” says The Boy. "说的很好，说： "该名男童。 And we bounce into his bed–我们反弹到他的床-

And he proceeds to pass out while working, reading words about numbers.和他的收益，货物运出，而工作，读话号码。

It was a nice Sunday break, but–这是一个好的星期日休息，但-

No fucking-thank-you for marriage.没有他妈的-谢-你的婚期。

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