时装作家kristopher的dukes

Sunday in Suburbia, in Hooker Heels周日在郊区,在hooker接踵而至

10.Sep.2007, 11:00 am 10 。 sep.2007 ,上午11时00分

Brian Atwood shoes Yesterday I played domesticated cat: a call from The Boy and I hit Home Depot for rakes and pool poles for his palace, my means of bribing him to stay up later than his usual Wall Street, EST hours.昨天我打得驯养猫:呼吁从男孩和我击民政车厂rakes和池极点为他的宫殿,我的手段收买他,每次逗留不超过不迟他一贯的华尔街,美国东部时间。

In strip-mall suburbia right off the beach, a man welcomes me to the neighborhood.在带状购物中心郊区或右小康海滩上,一名男子在欢迎我到居委会。

“Nice dress, mammi!” "尼斯服饰, mammi ! "

“Thank you, sexy,” I call after him, strapping tighter the belt on my leopard-print corduroy trench coat, click-clacking into the warehouse in "谢谢你,性感, "我请他后,捷联收紧皮带对我的豹-打印灯心绒短外套,点击clacking进入仓库 black peep-show-toed, Lucite-heeled pumps黑色窥视秀- toed , lucite高跟鞋泵 . I see a salesman, and I zoom in, with a businessman’s mind to save time.我看到一个推销员,我和放大,与一个商人的头脑,以节省时间。 “Where are the rakes?” "那里有rakes ? "

“They are right there.” He points to the aisle just behind me. "他们说得对,有。 "他站到过道刚刚在我身后。

“But I need help finding the best.” I smile, I finger my belt, I cock my head, coy. "但我需要帮助寻找最好的。 " i笑容,我手指我的皮带,我公鸡我的头,事务。 “And I don’t know what is what.” "我不知道什么是什么原因… … "

“All right.” He climbs down his ladder, and escorts me to a rack of rakes, and I pick out a couple. "所有"的规定。他爬升了他的梯子,并护送我到一个机架的rakes ,我抽出一对夫妇。

“And I also need a hoe,” I say. "我还需要一个锄头, "我说。 “But not a girl.” " ,而不是一个女孩。 "

He chuckles, and hands me one.他接着指出,和手给我找一个。

“This is the Rolls Royce of hoes? "这是劳斯莱斯的锄头? You’re sure?”你相信吗? "

He laughs again.他又笑了。 “Anything else?” "凡是别人吗? "

“An axe.” "斧头。 "

He blinks at me.他闪烁在我。 “What size? "什么尺寸? For what?”做什么? "

“A large tree. "大一棵树。 Or ex-husband.”或前夫。 "

He pauses, brain digesting my chatter like an over-baked meat loaf, then leans back and laughs.他停顿了一下,入脑,消化,我颤振,如超过焙肉面包,然后倾斜背部和笑着说。 I trail him ’round the warehouse, until he hands me an axe, a pool pole, and then arranges them like flowers in a vase in a dirty orange cart. i步道他说'轮仓库,直到他的手,请用斧头,一组一极,然后再安排他们喜欢鲜花插在花瓶里,在一个肮脏橙色购物车。 I thank him, my conversation a curtsey, and I drive off my cart in sixth gear, screeching to a stop at the self-check-out.我感谢他,我的谈话一curtsey的,我驾驶过我的购物车在第六齿轮, screeching处于停滞状态,在自我检查出来。

Men and a few women in dirty shorts and T’s look amused as I squeal while I almost drop the yard equipment that’s mostly taller than me, scanning bar codes, swiping my plastic money with my own dude’s name on it, only pausing when I see an apron’ed teenage boy.男子和少数妇女在肮脏的短裤和t的期待发笑,我尖叫,而我差点辍学庭院装备的大多是身高比我,扫描条码,刷卡我国塑料钱我自己谷的名字上,只停,当我看到一个apron'ed十几岁男孩。

“Can you help me out?” I smile, I blink my triple-mascara-coated lashes, I’m seeing the benefits of being less a Kristopher and more a prissy Krissy in my speech. "你能不能帮我出吗? " i笑容,我眨眼我的三重媚妍睫毛液包覆鞭打,我看到的好处正在减弱kristopher ,更是一个prissy krissy在我的演辞。 “I’ll likely break something otherwise.” "我将有可能打破东西,否则。 "

He walks me out, my knight in the parking lot of slow moving dragons of mini-vans, and my ditz becomes less fun and more serious.他走了我,我的骑士在停车场的移动缓慢的小龙微型客货车,和我的ditz变得较少的乐趣,更严重。 “I forgot where I parked… I have a Mini Cooper, by the way.” "我忘了在哪里停泊…我有一个迷你库柏,由不二法门"

He clears his throat.他擦亮了他的喉咙。

“Jay kay! "杰伊凯! Just kidding.只是在开玩笑。 It’s a coupe.”这是一个跑车。 "

He laughs, polite: I am the cute, crazy, kept woman now.他笑着说,礼貌:我是可爱的,疯了,保持现在女性。

After stuffing my car with the yard gear, he directs me to the Pacific Coast Highway, avoiding “south”s and “west”s for “left”s and “right”s in Chickalese, and I cruise through a hill of cookie-cutter homes before being dumped on the coast, onto a quiet road to The Boy’s Italiano villa, “The Castle,” I call it.馅后,我的汽车与堆场齿轮,他指示我到太平洋海岸公路,以避免"南方"和"西"局长"左"和"右" s在chickalese ,我邮轮通过希尔的曲奇-刀具家园,然后弃置于海岸,到一个安静的道路,以男孩的意大利文别墅, "城堡, "我叫。

I show The Boy the receipt.我说明了该名男童的收据。 “I’m the best assistant that never worked for you.” "我就是最好的助理说,从来没有工作过,为你"

“Thanks, honey.” He perky pecks me on my pout, Lucy-Desi style. "感谢,蜂蜜。 "他perky pecks在我的真空,露西-设计风格。 “All right, here’s your drug money.” And he counts cash to pay me back, and I think how this scene matches my hooker heels and smoked-out eyes and the neon pink and black lingerie beneath my trench coat. "没事儿,这里是你们的药钱"字。他计数现金支付,我回来了,而且我觉得怎么这种景象匹配我的hooker接踵而至熏出眼睛和霓虹灯粉红色及黑色内衣下方我的战壕大衣。

The Boy takes us to take-out, and 15 minutes later we sit in his dining room, overlooking the coast of Los Angeles glittering like little diamonds in middle-class marriage rings, eating dirty Mexican food.男孩需要我们采取淘汰,而15分钟后,我们坐在他的餐厅,俯瞰海岸的洛杉矶金光闪闪恰似点点钻石,在中产阶层的结婚戒指,饮食不洁墨西哥食物。

I undress myself for dessert. i脱下衣服,我自己甜品。 “That’s nice,” says The Boy. "说的很好,说: "该名男童。 And we bounce into his bed–我们反弹到他的床-

And he proceeds to pass out while working, reading words about numbers.和他的收益,货物运出,而工作,读话号码。

It was a nice Sunday break, but–这是一个好的星期日休息,但-

No fucking-thank-you for marriage.没有他妈的-谢-你的婚期。



Related to "Sunday in Suburbia, in Hooker Heels":有关"周日在郊区,在hooker接踵而至" :

  »   » What Your K Is…你的k是…

  »   » What Your K Is…你的k是…

  »   » What Your K Is…你的k是…


10 Smart Remarks for “Sunday in Suburbia, in Hooker Heels” 10个聪明的话"周日在郊区,在hooker接踵而至"

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars ( 1 votes, average 5 ) 1票,平均5 )
Loading ...  Loading ...装载...
  1. amy 艾米 says:内容为:

    well that was a huge waste of mascara and stiletto toe pain.好,这是一个巨大的浪费,媚妍睫毛液及stiletto脚趾疼痛。 you should have gotten the phone number for the home depot guy instead.你应该得到的电话号码,为民政车厂家伙代替。

  2. Hope 希望 says:内容为:

    Fact or fiction?事实还是虚幻? Are you serious, K-Dukes?你是说真的,钾的dukes ? If so, you crack me up.如果是的话,你打击我。 AND, do you really drive a Cooper?和,你真的驾驶库珀?

  3. KRiSTOPHER DUKES says: kristopher的dukes内容为:

    All fact, including the glorious anti climax, and asking for a “hoe, not a girl.”所有的事实,包括光荣的反高潮,并要求一个"锄头,而不是一个女孩。 "

    I don’t really drive a Cooper — I was trying to scare the dude about fitting stuff in my trunk.我真的不开库珀-我是想吓唬谷约装修的东西,在我的鼻子。

    XXXO, xxxo ,
    K k

  4. karina karina says:内容为:

    hahah this reminds me of a similar situation I was in when buying my dad a fathers day present from a hardware store!!! hahah这使我想起了一个类似的情况,我是在购买时,我爸一父亲目前每天从五金店! ! ! Next time I’m going to try and dress to the nines and flirt my way around and see how I go =)下次我会尝试与服饰给了99.999和打情骂俏,我倒过来看我如何去= )

  5. Jessica says: 杰西卡说:

    You crack me up.你打击我。

  6. Scott Dukes 斯科特的dukes says:内容为:

    stop writing gross stories about being in bed with your sugar daddy.停止写作毛额的故事,正在病床上与贵糖爸爸。

  7. Z'maji z'maji says:内容为:

    Er, Um, Krissy, I love your blog, but tell me do you like these hefty and clear heels that I”ve been seein so much of, I mean these “zapatos” are quite hott but this kinda heel always seems so weird to me.呃,嗯, krissy ,我爱你的博客,但告诉我,你会喜欢这些沉重的和明确的接踵而至,我的"价值工程已seein这么多的,我的意思是,这些" zapatos "相当hott不过,这有点踵总是这么奇怪,以我。 y’know…………I mean not to question your superior taste but, y’know…. y'know … … … …我的意思是不是怀疑你的上级的口味,但y'know … 。

    Z’maji @ hauteblogxoxo.wordpress.com z'maji @ hauteblogxoxo.wordpress.com

  8. Julia 朱莉娅 says:内容为:

    Hilarious.搞笑。 I was laughing so hard at the hoe line until tears came out of my eyes.我是在笑,所以很难在锄头线,直到眼泪出来了我的眼睛。

  9. Lianne lianne says:内容为:

    You are HILARIOUS love!!你是搞笑爱情! ! This was the funniest yet….LMAO这是有趣,但… 。 lmao

  10. Sam R. says: 山姆r.内容为:

    Ha- great story.夏伟大的故事。 You should have your own show!你应该有你自己的显示!

Leave a response留下响应

*
Click the word to hear it. 点击这个词听到这种说法。
点击听到反垃圾邮件字

Translate翻译

Translate to EnglishÜbersetzen Sie zum Deutsch/GermanПереведите к русскому/RussianΜεταφράστε στα ελληνικά/GreekVertaal aan het Nederlands/Dutchترجمة الى العربية/Arabic中文翻译/Chinese Simplified한국어에게 번역하십시오/Korean日本語に翻訳しなさい /JapaneseTraduza ao Português/PortugueseTraduca ad Italiano/ItalianTraduisez au Français/FrenchTraduzca al Español/Spanish

Ads by Glam广告由glam


» ADVERTISE HERE 广告这里

Browse...浏览...


                                                                                                                                                                                                                    

Boss Lady老板夫人

Less into "fuck me" shoes and more into少成"他妈的我的"鞋越来越联成 "fuck you" shoes "他妈的,你的"鞋 , fashion writer KRiSTOPHER DUKES blogs about Sunday in Suburbia, in Hooker Heels, five-inch heels, It bags, and ,时装作家kristopher的dukes博客约周日在郊区,在hooker接踵而至, 5英寸接踵而至,它袋,并 more.更多。 »

"Kristopher Dukes win[s] wide praise in the fashion world..." " kristopher的dukes双赢[ s ]的广泛赞誉,在时装世界的… … "


"[KRiSTOPHER DUKES .com is] a tightly edited daily glam fest..." " [ kristopher的dukes 。 com是]紧紧主编每日glam巨星汇的… … "


"Five-inch heels, It bags, and designer jewelry, with the occasional post about love for almost all things mink. [Kristopher is] courting PETA love." "五英寸接踵而至,它箱包,首饰设计师,与偶尔邮政关于爱情的几乎所有东西,水貂。 [ kristopher是]讨好善待动物的爱。 "


Close关闭
E-mail It电子邮件它