First Date Pirmais

I hear my glossy iPhone make its old school ring, and I smile at the blocked number calling, and I answer: “What are you wearing, Es dzirdēt manu glancēts IPHONE darīt savu veco skolu gredzena, un es smaidu pie bloķēts numuru zvanīt, un es atbildi: "Ko jūs valkājot, pool boy pool boy ?” ? "

“How excited are you about those toys you got in the mail?” asks The Boy. "Kā satraukti jūs par tiem, rotaļlietas jums pa pastu?" Aicina Boy.

I finger the blush-pink packaging from I pirkstu ar sarkt rozā iepakojuma no Booty Parlor Laupījums viesistaba , lying on my desk. , Kas atrodas uz mana rakstāmgalda. “Not as excited as I was before I used them.” "Ne kā satraukti, kā es biju pirms es viņiem."

“Already?” asks The Boy. "Jau?" Aicina Boy. “Did you light candles and have a glass of wine?” "Vai tu gaismas sveces, un glāzi vīna?"

“Of course,” I say. "Protams," I say. “But within five minutes I grabbed my tits. "Bet piecu minūšu laikā es satvert manu tits. So then I slapped myself. Tā tad es slapped sevi. I said, 'Who the fuck do you think you are?' Es teicu, "Kas ir fuck, Jūsuprāt, Jūs esat?"

“Then I said, 'That short little skirt, that upscale, escort make-up… You've been asking for this all night, baby.' "Tad es teicu, ka" īstermiņa maz svārki, ka upscale, eskorts make-up ... Jūs esat jautā par šo visu nakti, bērnu. " Then I saw the dildo, I conquered myself, and I came. Tad es redzēja dildo, I conquered sevi, un es nāk. Hard. Grūts. Then half of me wanted to cuddle, but the other half said, 'Yeah, right, hoe. Tad puse no manis gribēja apmīļot, bet otra puse teica: "Jā, labi, kaplis. Cuddling? Cuddling? What are we? Kas mēs esam? 69 years-old?' 69 gadus vecs? " Then the other half started crying, and drinking all the left-over wine, singing All By Myself. ” Tad otra puse sākās saucošs, un dzeramā visi left-over vīna, dziedot Visi Ar pats. "

“That's some date you had with yourself.” The Boy chuckles. "Tas ir ar datumu jums bija ar sevi." The Boy chuckles.

“Yeah,” I say. "Jā," I say. “I think I'll blog about it.” "Es domāju, ka es blogu par to."

“You're writing about giving yourself a right-hand job on your blog?” asks The Boy. "Tu esi rakstot par sevi, kas ir labajā darbu savā emuārā?" Aicina Boy. “Your poor parents.” "Jūsu nabadzīgiem vecākiem."

“Whatever.” I weigh the glass dildo in my hand: it's heavy like an awards statue. "Jebkāda." Es nosver stikla dildo manā puses: tā ir smagā Līdzīgas apbalvošanas statuja. “My pussy's proud of me.” "Mana incītis's lepojas ar mani."

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