Wearing:

When a two-hour morning meeting turned into an all-day marathon, I didn’t have time to go home and refresh my face for a movie premier I was hitting.  Instead, I ducked into a downtown drugstore, picked out eyeshadows recommended by Beautypedia.com‘s cosmetic cop.

I’ve since played with Physicians Formula’s matte collection “Canyon Classics” quad eye shadow, which can create a soft, smoky eye, and REVLON Colorstay 16-Hour “Moonlit” eyeshadow quad, which is creaseproof for at least four of the hours advertised — but nothing comes close to the super fine pigments that Senna Cosmetics creates. I just tried Senna Cosmetics Glow Eye Shadow in “Arabesque,” and any other eyeshadow feels like a gritty glitter compared to the soft shimmers Senna offers…

Using:

You could buy a 2.5 ounces of easy-to-use, mess-free squeezable tube of Vaseline for $2, but –

Why would you, when you could pay twice as much for less than half the amount of petroleum jelly, packaged in a slightly inconvenient, incredibly beguiling, miniature Vaseline jar?

Note: White gold pinkie “K” ring and yellow gold President watch are for size comparison and vacuous aspirational marketing purposes only; while these items may easily be confused with props in a pre-The Blueprint 3 Jay-Z music video, they are not included with purchase of miniature Vaseline jar, even though said Vaseline jar may be mentioned in lyrics that may referencing a person being a “CE ho, not CEO” and may or may not be perceived as sexually demeaning in audio of said music video.

Wanting:

Even though I’ve gone borderline granola, shampooing with an ultra gentle baby wash, conditioning my hair and taming frizz with virgin coconut oil, and playing up the natural wave of my hair, part of caring for my bed-head burgundy bob requires blow drying my side-swept bangs straight, drenching them with old school, ozone-depleting hairspray, blow drying my bangs straight again, and repeating this process until the air is lightly scented with scorched hair.

Works every time, with results repelling Honolulu’s humidity.

Still, I’m curious about this John Frieda Frizz-Ease 3-Day Straight Semi-Permanent Styling Spray — it could be a healthier alternative for my hair, and our Mother Earth.  Perhaps I’ll pick some up at the local drugstore.  It’s only five minutes away, and has got a great parking lot for doing donuts in my Porsche C4S…

Using:

Since replacing Moroccanoil with virgin coconut oil as a frizz tamer, I’ve used whatever hair conditioner is convenient, figuring they’re all about the same. Apparently I was wrong — John Frieda Full Repair conditioner lives up to its hype.

All the sudden I’m feeling less cynical about brand-washing.

I even started wearing a John Frieda T-shirt to bed now — it really does make my hair softer…

Hating:

Read the reviews — this John Frieda Hot Air Brush is awesome.

Goddammit.

I’d rather not know, considering the painstaking research I invested before buying the Bio-Ionic BlueWave Nano-Ionic Conditioning Brush and Hot Tools Ionic travel hair dryer. Does there always have to be something better?

No.

Not if you squeeze your eyes shut, put your hands over your ears, and sing, “Lalala…”

Using:

My perfect skincare kit on the go…

All that other ish you’ve been slopping on your face is a waste of time and money. I’ve tried skincare products designed by doctors in 90210, age-old Japanese brands, and Frenchies — they don’t work.

I’ve figured out the most effective way to get perfect skin in 14 days, for less than 10 minutes a day, with products totaling less than $105…

MORE »

Wanting:

I can’t think of a better way to spend a weekday night than by peeling off a layer of my face with a lab-level chemical I scored for less than $20 off Amazon.

Can you?

Liar…

Using:

Some seasons I like ridiculously thick, drama-lady brows, a la Audrey Hepburn, and I’ll draw on 25% bigger brows with a No. 2 pencil. But lately I’ve been digging a more natural brow, and Physician’s Formula Brow Definer Automatic Brow Pencil in blonde-beige does the trick. It’s the perf shade, whether or not — I’m hoping not — your hair’s blonde-beige.

Otherwise, you can use a brow pencil that’s one shade darker than your natural hair color, fill any gaps in your brows with featherlight strokes that mimic individual hairs, then carefully take your brow pencil and scrawl “I OVER-PLUCKED MY EYEBROWS” on your forehead.

Voila…

Wearing:

Making my makeup last through a flight to Europe is not a problem (staying unconscious is). But I impressed myself with my new makeup record: I fell asleep at Le Meurice while watching The Sopranos — a sexy night in Paris, oui — , woke up a few hours later, reapplied Shiseido Sun Protection Liquid Foundation, and worked my smoky eye for until bedtime.

Here’s how you get an 18-hour smoky eye with Make Up For Ever Aqua Cream Eye Shadow…

MORE »

Hating:

So I haven’t actually tried Organix Coconut Milk Leave-In Nourishing Milk. Maybe it works as well as organic coconut oil for your hair.

I mean, I do get five servings of fruit out of a package of Fruit Roll-Ups.

Who needs an apple a day…