Christian Louboutin peep toes $384, Net-a-Porter.com

Much like V1AG.R.A ads, sarcasm doesn’t travel well online. Check my blogging at fashion democracy Top Button:

Nicole Richie Out to Lunch
Boss bag, glammy glasses, Loubies, a boho blouse…

Nicole Richie looks lovely as usual, but just between girls, let’s catty chat:

Did she get fat, or what?

XXXO,
K

Comments
She’s pregnant.
posted by Jordan at 11/28/2007 3:34:09 PM

Please are you kidding me the pregnacy [sic] has made her look like she may actually be healthy. SHe [sic] no longer looks as if she is going to pass out form starvation. Hell she has tits now and not her sternum showing on her neckliine [sic]. Way to go Nicole you look fabulous and sexy.
posted by Jchemela Holmes at 12/4/2007 9:45:10 AM

Sarcasm aside, why are those Jills so jacked up?

Fat’s the new skinny.

With Halloween hung over, it’s time to prep presents for Kwanzanukkah, to play selfless, to –

Gift those who gift you richly the best.

It’s just good business.

But before your buying spree, invest in a something for yourself, like these two-tone bowed Christian Louboutin shoes. All boss black and serious satin, these Christian Louboutin shoes bow-tie yourself into your own gift.

The ambitious arch will have you watch your walk into your meeting.

And kill it.

� Christian Louboutin shoes with bow $925, Net-a-Porter

I’ve only lived in America all twenty-some years of my life, and from what I understand Labor Day should be celebrated not laboring. But so long as Starbucks is serving iced soy green tea lattes, I’m grinding hard, prowling the web for the most boss Christian Louboutins for you lovelies, I’m positively sweating for shoes that spell S-E-X.

Like this Christian Louboutin boot.

With a long and hard heel stuck into an ambitious arch, with peek-a-boo strips of leather and fishnet melting into a passion-red sole, this Christian Louboutin boot is the perfect shoe for a Labor Day that celebrates the pleasure and profit of being a woman working for herself.

So slip on these Christian Louboutin boots, and work your tight little ass off.

Lying on your back.

…With your laptop balanced on your stomach as you innocently tickle your typepad and write the opposite-of-wet business plans.

� Christian Louboutin boot in fishnet $970, Bergdorf Goodman

A five-inch heel in cognac leather that’s second-skin up to your knees means these boss Christian Louboutin boots will have you looking like a very Pretty Woman come fall double-oh-seven.

These Christian Louboutin boots–with your little virgin white dress–may style you so pretty a woman, that these “fuck me” “fuck you” boots might pay for themselves.

Lewd wink, wink.

Because, you know, a monk will see you on Sunset Blvd. in West Hollywood and offer to take you to a classy dinner of holy bread and alcohol-free wine that costs about a grand.

That’s what I was implying.

� Christian Louboutin boots $1,295, Net-a-Porter.com

Christian Louboutin shoes for less than I spend Starbucksing in a month?

That’s actually not so boss, not so amazing.

Let’s rephrase, lovelies.

Louboutins for less than two Benjies?

Mmmhmm.

XXXO,
K

� Christian Louboutin shoes $155 via Barneys.com

Christian Louboutin shoes $570, Net-a-Porter
With a stab-me stiletto hard and longer than four-inches, in a boss gloss of patent leather tiger print, less a fuck-me shoe, these Christian Louboutin shoes are much more a fuck-you shoe.

As in, “Fuck you? No, thank you, I can pay for dinner myself.”

As in, “Fuck you? No, thank you, I have a right hand.”

As in, “Fuck you for thinking it rude of me to say ‘Fuck you.’ ”

Finished with a classic, mad red sole–

Aren’t these Christian Louboutin shoes cute?

Though Christian Louboutin put an Alpaca to non-use, and I do love animals more than PETA–

This Christian Louboutin bag is double-kill with calfskin handles, and it isn’t even haute.

Or hot.

A blob of brown fur, maybe if Christian Louboutin worked in an endangered animal I’d dub it boss.

� Alpaca Christian Louboutin bag $1,695, Saks

These patent-tipped Christian Loboutin boot shoes — or Christian Loboutin shoe boots — are exclusive to e-boutique Net-a-Porter, and, in my soy latte-soaked mind, exclusive to my alternate life –

I should have loved these patent-tipped, faux-buttoned Christian Louboutin boot shoes were I trapped in Harry Potter book series.

As the trampy, vampy substitute teacher at Hogwarts.

� Christian Louboutin boot shoes $925, Net-a-Porter

Just because LiLo’s top is half off doesn’t make her hot, and–

Same goes for metallic Marc-y Marc Jacobs flats.

You deserve only the most boss from Barney’s sale, lovelies.

Monsieur Christian Louboutin’s attempting to tempt me away from my Italiano lover, Signore Giuseppe Zanotti.

Christian Louboutin’s coming strong spring 2007, this “Fox Trot” Christian Louboutin peep toe is courting my love with its golden sole, its strong stance on a too-tall heel, its silver piping highlighting a bad boy black patent leather.

So mignon, I think I may have to take Christian Louboutin to dinner, dolls.

You ladies care to join me?

� Pre-order “Fox Trot” Christian Louboutin peep toe $712 via Browns Fashion.