Christian Louboutin shoes $570, Net-a-Porter
With a stab-me stiletto hard and longer than four-inches, in a boss gloss of patent leather tiger print, less a fuck-me shoe, these Christian Louboutin shoes are much more a fuck-you shoe.

As in, “Fuck you? No, thank you, I can pay for dinner myself.”

As in, “Fuck you? No, thank you, I have a right hand.”

As in, “Fuck you for thinking it rude of me to say ‘Fuck you.’ ”

Finished with a classic, mad red sole–

Aren’t these Christian Louboutin shoes cute?

Though Christian Louboutin put an Alpaca to non-use, and I do love animals more than PETA–

This Christian Louboutin bag is double-kill with calfskin handles, and it isn’t even haute.

Or hot.

A blob of brown fur, maybe if Christian Louboutin worked in an endangered animal I’d dub it boss.

» Alpaca Christian Louboutin bag $1,695, Saks

These patent-tipped Christian Loboutin boot shoes — or Christian Loboutin shoe boots — are exclusive to e-boutique Net-a-Porter, and, in my soy latte-soaked mind, exclusive to my alternate life –

I should have loved these patent-tipped, faux-buttoned Christian Louboutin boot shoes were I trapped in Harry Potter book series.

As the trampy, vampy substitute teacher at Hogwarts.

» Christian Louboutin boot shoes $925, Net-a-Porter

Just because LiLo’s top is half off doesn’t make her hot, and–

Same goes for metallic Marc-y Marc Jacobs flats.

You deserve only the most boss from Barney’s sale, lovelies.

Monsieur Christian Louboutin’s attempting to tempt me away from my Italiano lover, Signore Giuseppe Zanotti.

Christian Louboutin’s coming strong spring 2007, this “Fox Trot” Christian Louboutin peep toe is courting my love with its golden sole, its strong stance on a too-tall heel, its silver piping highlighting a bad boy black patent leather.

So mignon, I think I may have to take Christian Louboutin to dinner, dolls.

You ladies care to join me?

» Pre-order “Fox Trot” Christian Louboutin peep toe $712 via Browns Fashion.

An ankle boot may be just a New Wave rehash, but -

A Christian Louboutin ankle boot is a new classic.

A Christian Louboutin ankle boot is the cleanest lines in the smoothest leather on the thinnest stiletto.

A Christian Louboutin ankle boot has you watching your walk, poising your posture, caring how you carry yourself.

A Christian Louboutin ankle boot -

Makes you wonder when you’re getting a driver.

» Christian Louboutin boot $950 via Net-a-Porter.

Ooh la love.

Low-cut 80’s-ish ankle boots are fresh, but I prefer shoes a touch more classic.

Like a purple suede, rabbit-trimmed ankle boot, a la Christian Louboutin.

With an almond toe, classic stiletto, and fresh violet color, this Christian Louboutin ankle boot plays timeless. Is the ankle boot modern mod? Sure, with opaque tights and a shift dress. Is the ankle boot Studio 54, 2004? With your little gold dress it is. Or maybe the ankle boot is neo New Wave? Your sweater dress and leggings agree. The Christian Louboutin ankle boot also plays very now: rock the ankle boot with tailored shorts, a breezy buttondown, and unbuttoned vest.

» Suede rabbit-trimmed Christian Louboutin ankle boot $717 at Bluefly.