Wanting:

I can’t think of a better way to spend a weekday night than by peeling off a layer of my face with a lab-level chemical I scored for less than $20 off Amazon.

Can you?

Liar…

Wanting:

Fred Perry’s classic polo shirt comes wrapped in a branded box, sized for ages up to one year, with the traditional ribbed twin-tipped collar, a two branded button placket, and the trademark embroidered laurel on the chest.

The only way this “My First Fred Perry Polo Shirt” special edition gift box set could get more adorable is with some baby-sized Levi 514s, a ’60s Vespa toddler bicycle, and a vintage “Guinness in Baby Bottles” sign…

See more Fred Perry at Scotts.

Using:

Some seasons I like ridiculously thick, drama-lady brows, a la Audrey Hepburn, and I’ll draw on 25% bigger brows with a No. 2 pencil. But lately I’ve been digging a more natural brow, and Physician’s Formula Brow Definer Automatic Brow Pencil in blonde-beige does the trick. It’s the perf shade, whether or not — I’m hoping not — your hair’s blonde-beige.

Otherwise, you can use a brow pencil that’s one shade darker than your natural hair color, fill any gaps in your brows with featherlight strokes that mimic individual hairs, then carefully take your brow pencil and scrawl “I OVER-PLUCKED MY EYEBROWS” on your forehead.

Voila…

Wearing:

I came back from Honolulu to find an Itsykini – a customizable bikini kit — waiting for me.  Inspired by classic Bond babe’s bikinis, the Itsykini is four beautifully tailored triangles that tie together with a rainbow of interchangeable bows. What else does any chick need for the beach? Nothing, so long as you’ve semi-permanent eyelash extensions, semi-permanent brows, and are swimming in an obscure brand of sunblock with micronized zinc…

Wearing:

On the flying bus to Honolulu, I shared some tea with my white silk Kimberly Ovitz jacket. Luckily for me, that meant a trip to Caesar’s Drycleaning, where, just next door, I discovered Pzazz. One of the best designer consignment boutiques in Honolulu — many of Pzazz’s shoppers are buying stock for their own second-hand stores — , Pzazz has a pinch of junk to keep it interesting — like a fake Gucci backpack — and plenty of designer deals to make it worthwhile — like a deadstock ’80s Gucci bag with its original retail tags, a rainbow of vintage kimonos, local brands like Fighting Eel, and a pair of unworn, satin and sequined Jimmy Choos ($100) and a golden Judith Leiber minaudière ($300), which I wore to dinner on December 31^st.

Those two items would have been a steal if I just needed a New Year’s Eve costume, but these are classic pieces I’ll wear again and again.

In fact, the next day, sporting my Choos and Marlies Dekkers bikini bottom, and my usual gold President and pinkie ring, I carried myself and minaudière to the beach below my vacay house. After tossing a few “Nyet”s at the neighboring Russian renters,  I could have sworn I was in Cannes.

добро пожаловать, Waikiki…

Wearing:

A gift from my friend Kamea, who runs Georgie and used my German Shepherd Major Dukes as a model, this Georgie “Julia” moto jacket looks like suede, but doesn’t feel anything like it — in the best way. This Georgie moto jacket — in a distressed brown exclusive to Intermix — has a wonderfully slinky feeling…

Wearing:

While in New York last month, I breakfasted with East-greets-West fashion designer Vivienne Tam (whose translucent skin glows, even on a winter-ish workday morning.  If she develops skincare, I’ll buy it all). She was wearing the sweetest coat, a simple hooded black nylon coat with hidden buttons, set off by quilting in an abstract fan pattern.  She offered to treat me at her Soho boutique, and I picked out the same Vivienne Tam coat, in a deep emerald green.

For once, strangers stopping me in Los Angeles don’t demand my German Shepherd’s name or age (or social security number), but only offer a “Nice coat…”

Hating:

On third thought, I suppose this Helmut Lang twisted loop drapey cardigan is perfect for those days that the front of your thighs is freezing, but your ass is on fire…

Wanting:

Remember that after snagging this Helmut Lang wool jersey jacket in black, I was hunting for it in gray?

Found it. Want it.

What’s that? But every jacket or coat I already own has a drapey shawl collar and wraps to close? And is in some shade of stone, to complement some beat canvas and leather Hermes bag I’m toting? And don’t I ever get bored always wearing a stack of Love bracelets and a gold President and a pinkie ring on my left hand?

Variety is the spice of life and a bored married man’s pants, not my wardrobe…

Wearing:

I first saw this Helmut Lang merino wool sweater jacket in London, at Harvey Nichols. And I glanced and glossed on — for its price, I could just have another shawl-collar, wrap coat made.

But a week later while I was in New York I popped into Helmut Lang’s Soho boutique to try it on — and the Helmut Lang jersey jacket fit so simply and beautifully. I bought it in black, and I’m hunting for it in seal gray.

Passing over a custom, hand-made in America coat for raw-edged wool jersey pieced together in China? I guess that means the terrorists are winning, but the important thing is that I’m comfortable.

That’s real American spirit…