Jimmy Choo bag “Pilar” $575, Jimmy Choo.com

Long and hard, blush red, wide-eyed and fresh, this Jimmy Choo bag makes me wonder why its model’s mouth is blocked out.

She’s probably eating–

A piece of a Bible-shaped cake, with virgin vanilla frosting detailing passages about that hooker Jesus hung with, Mary Magdalene.

Win this Jimmy Choo “Pilar” bag and other It bags from W magazine.

Jimmy Choo shoes $585, Net-a-Porter.com

If there’s something to work out, it’s not working.

If you have to ask why the strap holding you down is too tight, if you wonder why a buckle bends with pressure, if you question a certain shade of coloring, maybe a jealous green–

It’s time to buy another pair of f**k-you shoes.

Jimmy Choo sandals $615, Net-a-Porter.com

Happiness isn’t a fuzzy slipper you stumble upon and slide on occasionally, to cushion you from your blue.

Happiness is a hard heel that takes poise to prance in; happiness is an ambitious arch propped by a mirror of your achievement; happiness is an earned pleasure as pure as 24K gold.

Happiness is the ruthless stripping of your life of anything unfit for the design you’re building. Happiness is–

A pair of Jimmy Choo sandals that’ll last you years, from now until you’re a rich cougar with an Italian toyfriend half your age.

Jimmy Choo lame bag $1,350 less than a soy latte, ideeli.com

Unless sex counts, I don’t play sports.

But I may make exception for the competitive shopping at ideeli.com. An invite-only shopping community, at ideeli you compete for 50-90% off luxury goods, plus giveaways like this Jimmy Choo bag.

I’ve got 25 ideeli invites for you lovelies.

Clicky click.

XXXO,
K

Jimmy Choo studded platforms $1,100, Net-a-Porter

Being practical depends on what you want to practice.

And if you want to practice sex perfectly safe, these studded Jimmy Choo shoes are practically perfect.

Unless you’re wearing your Choos bare with a Jimmy.

Halloween is all about:

Goth glam and black fun.

Getting a spell on.

Dressing more slutty than usual.

Which would be hard, without these Jimmy Choo boot shoes called “Spell.”

Happy Halloween, lovelies.

XXXO,
K

» Jimmy Choo boot sling-backs $1,200, Net-a-Porter.com

Though I think the world is black and white truths and a rainbow of feeling, sometimes I see the gray: I’m confident enough to wonder if I’ll be smart enough to max out my potential, I don’t want to get locked down in wedlock but I wonder if I’ll meet anyone I’d like to marry, and I–

Wonder when these Jimmy Choo boots will go on sale.

Full retail or slashed half price, the Jimmy Choo boots are still glossy boss in a gray patent leather that’s the perfect shield for those rare rainy days in L.A.

» Jimmy Choo boots in gray patent leather $1,125, Net-a-Porter

Every year we ladies ought to upgrade our arm candy. So consider going hottie hunting for a new boy, and -

Check my top five bags for spring of double-oh-seven.

	Nancy Gonzalez Iridescent Python Hobo BagYour K loves animals more than PETA, and so, apparently, do most designers this spring. Look for lots of lizards and snakes. » Python Nancy Gonzalez bag $2,890 via Saks
	Yves Saint Laurent Metallic ToteAll solid shine, this bag is a downtown doll’s shield, mirroring all things mignon, and blinding you to all things unchic - including those golden American Apparel leggings.» Silver Yves Saint Laurent bag $1,595 via Neiman Marcus
	Jimmy Choo Belted Shoulder BagTan leather with tonal water snake trim, with a wide shape made for wear, this - and a regular cappuccino - is about as rugged as I get.» Belted Jimmy Choo bag $1,690 via Neiman Marcus
	Marc Jacobs Quilted Signature ToteMarc-y Marc Jacobs genius - cheeky chic gone golden.» “Irina” Marc Jacobs bag $950 via Saks
	Prada Ruched Nylon/Leather HandbagEasy, everyday shape for power lunching with your boys, a jewel tone for champagne martinis out with your ladies.» Nylon Prada bag $1,650 via Saks Published on TrendMill.com

Here’s to a golden double-oh-seven, ladies:

All sharp shimmers, this golden Jimmy Choo bag is all boss brightness, lighting up your fresh new year.

All glammy glitter, this metallic Jimmy Choo bag is perfectly large and practically luxe so you can rock gorgeously gold from work to play, from nine to five and five to nine.

All solid shine, this gold Jimmy Choo bag is a downtown doll’s shield, mirroring all things mignon, and blinding you to all things unchic -

Including not making your every year smarter.

» Metallic Jimmy Choo bag $1,395 via Net-a-Porter

Ooh la love.

Jimmy Choo is your holiday cocktail party date because:

While platinum is the most precious of metals, Jimmy Choo’s gold gives you glow, in the foiled suede in this Jimmy Choo handbag.

While diamonds are your BFF, Jimmy Choo’s diamantes vibe more worry-free fun.

Because unlike your boy Jim, your boy Jimmy Choo knows how to work the room as your arm candy.

And Jimmy Choo won’t hint your gorgeous gown makes your butt look “kinda, um, big.”

» Gold diamante clutch Jimmy Choo handbag $2,250 via Net-a-Porter