Передайте ваш компакт Chanel дома, свет перемещения к вашей партии праздника:

Ваши деньг, мяты, жезл, чернь, и вытачка 3 презервативов в a Муфта Тед Rossi, мычка серебра охваывает.

Используйте зеркало металлическая, котор кожа втройне-проверяет как часто по мере того как вы любите, без любого зная.

И вы, котор должн-вы смотрят горячими, даже лучше чем dude вы танцуете с.

Так ditch он, и вы и Тед Rossi имеете быстро бит потехи собой в bathroom.

» Муфта $325 Тед Rossi, Vivre.com

Делите это

Это Ботинок Givenchy будет как секс должен ввести в моду: шаловливо грубое, франтовск эротичное, равное представление femme частей и мужеское доминирование.

И как секс, лож успеха этого ботинка Givenchy в своих деталях: экстренное толщиное cover-up утрирует выставку щели пальца ноги щели, малюсенькие отполированные стержни капают влажн-как над красивейшая кожа, и великолепнейший свод воодушевлян что-то длинним и крепко и

Возможно я должен остановить наблюдать porn между письмами влюбленности сочинительства пакостными к вам.

» Givenchy обувает $535, Barneys.com

Делите это

«Fuck вы» ботинки пятки с честолюбивым сводом, твердой подошвой, «fuck, котор вы» обуваете decidedly смелейший ботинок вы зарабатывали что стойки высокорослое одно, фигуративно - они уверенно как вы - и буквальн - они вводит босса в моду с справедливым trashy lingerie.

«Fuck вы» обуваете середину, котор вы находитесь на верхней части, ли вы одиночные или partnered.

И «fuck я» ботинки?

«Fuck я» ботинки overpriced duds конструктора inviting you to get fucked by any dude you think might be able to pay off the credit you used to buy the heels.

Can I get a “fuck yeah”?

» Alberta Ferretti shoes $745, Net-a-Porter.com 

Share This

This Parisian Abaco bag is like a man: you want it to mellow into maturity, to age smart, to–

Have plenty of years to get great in bed.

See the Abaco bag’s front pouch? How it’ll just fit some extremely modest pajamas, perhaps a bunny-print onesie?

That’s what I meant.

You dirty motherfucker.

» Abaco bag $635, Shop Intuition.com

Share This

Even a boyfriend who hit 50 countries in a year was impressed with how I stuffed my “Betty Boopy shit” into a single bag for our one-week trip hitting four cities.

While flying buses aren’t excepted from my uniform of hooker heels and flapper frocks–

I pack like a dude.

And I always carry on. When you check in, you’re check yes to a risk of losing luggage, you check yes to your goodies getting fondled worse than you on prom night, you check yes to at least a half-hour that could be better spent with $10 on an iced soy latte at the airport Starbucks.

So check this carry-on Diane von Furstenberg luggage. The expandable suitcase is lined with DvF logos and a detachable toiletries kit, the pretty pewter makes the Diane von Furstenberg suitcase hard to lose sans shouting “Steal me” like a Louis print, and the boss DvF suitcase has rolling wheels, a necessary convenience when you travel alone and–

Haven’t eaten anything since yesterday.

Have a happy Labor Day weekend jetaway, lovelies.

XXXO,
K

» Diane von Furstenberg suitcase $200, eBags.com

Share This

Dear Kristopher motherfucking Dukes,
I have a fashion question and I thought I should ask you. Why? Because you rock so hard you make men pee in their suits. I have a matte gold dress with satin accents, deep V-neck, open back that ties at the back neck and hits mid-calf… My question: what fucking heels to rock? The thought of only gold makes me think cheese, and black is horrid.
Jax

Because you used the gosh darn “F” word as often as I do when I’m feeling romantic–with myself, likely–, I’m charmed to solve your fashion dilemma.

Gold heels would be B(eyonce)-grade cheese, you’re right. So slip on a pair of metallic heels that glimmer between platinum and gold, like these metallic Rupert Sanderson shoes. Thin straps keep the shine light so your dress and hot bod are upgraded, not upstaged. Total first date shoes, the heels are sweet sans vibing saccharine, they’re–

Motherfucking boss, right?

XXXO,
K

» Metallic Rupert Sanderson shoes $595 via Net-a-Porter.com

Share This

A five-inch heel in cognac leather that’s second-skin up to your knees means these boss Christian Louboutin boots will have you looking like a very pretty woman come fall double-oh-seven.

These Christian Louboutin boots–with your little virgin white dress–may style you so pretty a woman, that these “fuck me” “fuck you” boots might pay for themselves.

Lewd wink, wink.

Because, you know, a monk will see you on Sunset Blvd. in West Hollywood and offer to take you to a classy dinner of holy bread and alcohol-free wine that costs about a grand.

That’s what I was implying.

» Christian Louboutin boots $1,295, Net-a-Porter.com

Share This