Louis Vuitton That’s Love brooch $310, eLUXURY.com

I love an alphabet’s worth of four-letter words; L-O-V-E is one of them.

L-O-V-E is often priced R-I-C-H, L-O-V-E is the power to pick your B-O-S-S, but, most importantly, L-O-V-E means enjoying a much less overused and abused four-letter word:

A lovely F-U-C-K.

But did I really need to spell that out?

Fakewear “Louis Vuitton” fake bag, prohibited for sale, MindWhatYouWear.com

Imitation’s the highest form of flattery.

Unless you’re getting knocked off by boring bitches who can only compete with your creative sloppy seconds.

Like chicks who can only get dick after it’s been worked by another lady, copycats are pussycats domesticated beyond housewives, weak pets who only feed when fed by others.

I’d tell such girls to eat me–

But Z-listers are hardly my first choice for a third between The Boy and me.

There’s something boss about a Louis Vuitton bum bag.

The Louis logo brags European chic to balance the bum bag’s timeless tourist vibe, to equal classic style.

Like getting mugged in New York’s Times Square, or, similarly–

Getting fucked up the ass.

» Louis Vuitton bum bag $710, eLUXURY

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Stocks are bouncing up and down the Dow Jones roller coaster, housing value is dipping, and so it’s time to think of investing in something more solid than paper promises and piles of bricks.

Like stocking up on maybe silver, maybe gold, maybe 24K Louis Vuitton shoes.

With a hammered gold, 5 ¼” heel, in a royal purple satin, these “Feerique” Louis Vuitton shoes are a perfect investment.

Plus, to be practical–

I need a new pair of jogging shoes.

» “Feerique” Louis Vuitton shoes $855, eLUXURY

Monsieur Louis Vuitton knows love.

Love isn’t that easy arm candy that wanted to hook up with you and your little black Versace dress to boost his own self-worth. Love isn’t either a vanilla, virginal, Puritanical white.

Love is smartly constructed of platinums and golds, love is built on a reputation of quality, love costs you hustling hard.

Despite the efforts of Canal Street and that dude in Little Italy, love cannot be counterfeited–

Love knows its own worth and love demands your own best.

And love doesn’t go with Steve Madden’s “Louboutins.”

» “That’s Love” Louis Vuitton bag $1,720, eLUXURY

Because spring ought to vibe lightly luxe, slightly silly, and decidedly open to possibility.

Because you live in a bubble, but it’s glammy-glossy, majorly metro, and rose-tinted but clear.

Because the only mister you’d want slipping a ring on your finger is last-named “Vuitton.”

You’re considering gorgeously gifting yourself this “Bubble” Louis Vuitton ring.

However, if you find yourself getting too fresh, assuming designer jewelry is a free pass to taking liberties with yourself, be a boss lady; you may smack yourself.

Unless you like it.

» “Bubble” Louis Vuitton ring $125 via eLUXURY

Wanting…

Wearing…

Hating…