Fast Company featured Glam Media as one of the most innovative companies, and Glam graciously spotlighted bloggers in its ad network: Adventures in the Stiletto Jungle, Afrobella, Coquette, Hostess with the Mostess, and some chick named Kristopher.

I thought a chinchilla bikini would be fetching with my President, pinkie ring, and referring to myself in the third person, but then I realized it might come off as stuffy…

The stunning soy latte-drinking, Coco Chanel-loving Angeleno says one of the biggest perks of writing the three-year-old blog is that she can work in just underwear and stilettos 24/7. And eight days a week, she does just that, spending part of her time blogging about overpriced Italian platforms and the rest fighting Internet crime on Faster, PC! Clean! Clean!. Yes, it is possible to be a stylish, sexy geek.

Thanks for the love, love.

XXXO

Thanks to Carlota at Hautelook for the lovely quote.

Says Angeleno:

A sassy, brassy 24-year-old style blogger with a cult readership of hardcore shoppers and an unrivaled ability to pinpoint trends, anoint designers and disappoint publicists.

“She writes something that really interests people, and the brands know this, so they see out [her approval],” says Carlota Espinosa of private-sale site Hautelook.com.

I’m flattered, only now it’ll be harder to lie about my age.

Let’s pretend I already did.

Honesty about that sort of stuff is for feminists too ugly to marry rich.

Of course, I mean ugly on the inside.

Because that’s what happens to your heart if you pretend you’re above Botox.

Is fashion writing your first love?

My first love is writing, period. I decided to specialize in fashion because I always loved how you can manipulate people with your image.

And I figured fashion was a fluffy enough topic that I could poetically masturbate.

I’ve already got some comments:

Her answers are totally offensive, and I love it.

Read it here.

Thanks for having me, Trust Your Style.

And thank you lovelies for always reading.

XXXO,
K

ShoeBlog.com has asked me to spill seven secrets. If you didn’t already know…

1. I shop like a Kristopher, not a Krissy. I barely, rarely browse for fashion offline. I know what I want, I buy it, and I work it. Same goes for men.
2. I keep fur in my fridge. Think three vintage fur muffs, a rabbit-trimmed head scarf, and a vintage Saks mink cap. I’ve also got some water in there. My main regret living in Los Angeles? It doesn’t get cold enough for glammy dead pets, and I love animals more than PETA.
3. I own crotchless panties. This probably isn’t a secret. I’ve got two rules for buying lingerie: either underwear’s got to be wearable as outerwear, or it should be unmentionable. Though I’ll usually mention it.
4. My legal name is Kristopher Dukes. I’ve met people who knew my dot-com, but didn’t think a girl named Kristopher really existed. A flash of California I.D. later they were convinced, though confused as to why I wasn’t dancing on the table.
5. I own New Balance sneakers. My sneakers are the unicorns of closets, they’re an urban myth, like models who don’t do coke. I wear them everyday — jogging. My dad saw me working out in them once, and even he was shocked I don’t exercise in hooker heels.
6. I stopped sipping six soy lattes a day. My gorgeous espresso machine is drying up, as I’ve been Starbucksing for sugar-free, green tea soy lattes. Can I have, like, a side of hip-hop yoga with that? The stuff of pussies, I know.
7. I’m really a 40-year-old virgin in Texas who owns three cats.

Whose dirty lingerie do you boss ladies want to air? Leave a comment and name a blogger. First three bloggers listed, considered yourselves tagged.

“I see this as the Perez Hilton of handbag blogs… Pretty impressive global appeal.”

I’d tell you I’m humbled by my inclusion in their list, but if anything, Shiny Shiny’s love has only further inflated my ego.

But not to the point I’d forget to thank you lovelies for reading, for making it so I can string dirty words together from nine to nine, in trashy lingerie.

Once Oprah book clubs me, I’m buying you each a lap dance.

XXXO,
K

When you haven’t trademarked something yet. Then it’s just called Legal Fun.

Some chick — Jess Cartner-Morley? I only like my mouth full of one thing, and hyphenated names aren’t it — at The Guardian is waxing un-poetic about “fuck you” shoes:

And while a stiletto heel is a half-hidden menace, a stolid heel – this season’s choice – is an open threat. (Fuck-you shoes, rather than fuck-me shoes, if you will.)“

I will, and I have. Thank you, ma’am.

When do I make the dic(k)tionary like Beyoncé and her bootyliciousness?

» Fakewear “Louis Vuitton” fake bag, prohibited for sale, MindWhatYouWear.com

Perc. Search Term
4.93% kristopher dukes
2.41% christian louboutin shoes
2.11% fuck me
0.75% fuck me now
0.70% trashy lingerie
0.50% fuck you clothing
0.01% a site with a cute peace sign necklace

I’m feeling a touch touchy.

So touch me, give me a little love, wonder with me:

Can you believe someone searched for a “cute peace sign necklace” and landed here?

The motherfucking nerve of Google.

Dude is talented.

Almost as talented as me.

Click click for his pic of me.

XXXO,
K

“Kristopher Dukes win[s] wide praise in the fashion world…”

Next up? Forbes’ list of chick billionaires.

Thanks always for reading. You’re making middle child dreams come true, here.

XXXO,
K