Sorry I went missing.  I’ve been busy holidaying, restyling my anti-badware blog, Faster, PC! Clean! Clean!, and –

Heavily researching Form 3, a new waterproof, rechargeable vibrator that Jimmyjane mailed me.

Form 3 is Jimmyjane’s latest, and the vibe vibes with the adult luxury line’s usual elegant minimalism: an iPodesque charging dock, a subtle settings switch, and form-is-function design that curves Form 3 into an extension of your hand.

I’m afraid I’ll need to dedicate a few more weeks to lonely R&D…

I’ve a good enough imagination to imagine I’ve a good enough imagination.

So what’s so choice, so cheeky chic about these Agent Provocateur “finger cuff” rings?

Stuff like this vibes Emperor Wears No Clothes — am I supposed to pretend to be blown away since only the stupid don’t see the invisible duds?

I can’t imagine…

Booty Parlor’s tickler and spanker is cute, but does a tease of pleasure always have to be balanced with a slap of pain? Is Booty Parlor’s tickle and spank wand a metaphor for America’s Puritan approach to sex? Don’t you find spanking rather degrading, for a man or a woman?

No?

Bad dog.  Let’s find out if we can change your mind…

Booty Parlor Skin Honey is “kissable three-in-one body topping, massage gel and personal lubricant.” Laced with aphrodisiacs, honey extract, and goji berry, Booty Parlor’s Skin Honey in Vanilla Honey Chai is as delicious as it pimps itself.

So is it wrong I’ve taken to snacking on it?

Literally?

The Honest Courtesan, a study of Venetian courtesan and writer Veronica Franco’s life and work, is written from a feminist perspective. The Honest Courtesan shows how Franco used her social position to write in defense of women, and how Franco argued the courtesan’s role as having intellectual and artistic — rather than erotic — significance.

Franco was probably a tease like me — The Honest Courtesan isn’t an eBook yet, which is why I’m left in “wanting”…

One of the freshest pieces of The Diary of a Manhattan Call Girl series, you’re in luck –

Despite what people say about Americans’ (lack of) culture, The Diary of a Jetsetting Call Girl ebook is no longer available on Amazon’s US site.

If you need a refresher — then I applaud you — The Diary of… was a sappy series of books about a 30-something Manhattanite who cooed at designer shoes she paid for with sex…

Everyone’s selling it, to some degree.

So I’m reading about two self-made women who did it blatantly, and retired in their forties with what would amount to $22,000,000 cash, in today’s dollar…

Wanting.

Jimmyjane is having a semi-annual sale that’ll make my year. I’m obsessed with Jimmyjane Ember Massage Candles — the candles cleanly burn fragrance that balances between unexpected and easily attractive, come in an Appley jar, and drip hot wax that’s spa-grade massage oil…

Wanting.

Was $55. For you? For you I give $40. See if you can beat me to the truffle and gardenia Jimmyjane candle…

Wanting.

Wanting: iBrate Pro

I’ve paid more than $99 for a personal massager, and now I’m tempted to shell out a single: for $0.99 iBrate Pro offers a slow pulse, a fast pound, and “an invigorating massage.” This app is exactly what Steve Jobs had in mind when he created his uber smartphone…

Using: iBrate

I only downloaded this free iBrate iVibrator so I could blog to you about it, lovely. Promise…

Hating: iVibrateMe

iVibrateMe swears it’s “great for your ‘special’ private areas.” I adore direct men, but I prefer a little more subtlety from my iPhone vibrating apps. Creep… ]]> http://www.kristopherdukes.com/2009/06/11/date-your-iphone-vibrating-apps-k-is/feed 1 http://www.kristopherdukes.com/2009/06/09/hot-girl-iphone-apps-k-is http://www.kristopherdukes.com/2009/06/09/hot-girl-iphone-apps-k-is#comments Tue, 09 Jun 2009 14:53:40 +0000 Kristopher http://www.kristopherdukes.com/?p=2561

Wanting: Pocket Pinups iPhone App

Get a Dita’ish dame in your pants for less than a buck — Pocket Pinups iPhone app is an exclusive collection of hundreds of vintage pin-up pics, including everything from rare burlesque shots to that go-go girl next door…

Using: Hottest Girls iPhone App

Hottest Girls is an iPhone app that gives you 1,500+ hand-picked pics of beautiful broads. You can even request certain types of chicks — Megan Fox with her mouth shut? — for the next Hottest Girls update, which is free. If I was a dude, I’m not sure I’d bother dating anymore…

Hating: Corvette Girls iPhone Apps

I’m supposed to get excited about girls in Corvettes? A chick driving a Porsche goes from a six to a nine, a new rig gives her plus two, but cruising in a Corvette? Minus four… ]]> http://www.kristopherdukes.com/2009/06/09/hot-girl-iphone-apps-k-is/feed 5