Wanting.

That little bow above your bum is so choice. Marlies Dekkers thongs play perfectly forceful and feminine, and make you look better than naked…

Wearing.

I’m obsessed with Marlies Dekkers underwear. I just had soy matcha lattes with the publicist for Marlies Dekkers, and my favorite thing she shared? Marlies Dekkers is such a perfectionist, it takes two years to go from design to finished product…

Hating.

I only hate this thong because I don’t own it. There are few lines I’m a total whore for, that I’d buy just out of faith in the brand — Marlies is one of them…

Wanting.

Jimmyjane massage candles are great as regular candles — they burn clean and flavor the air. And they’re better as a way to ruin your sheets with hot wax. The scents are delish and unisex, and the melted wax doubles as spa-quality, massage oil…

Using.

Booty Parlor sent me their “Don’t Stop” massage candles. The curvy candle holder is easy to grip, and the sandalwood vanilla scent is sweet without being saccharine. The massage candle’s wax melts fast for a slow, hot drip that dances between pleasure and pain…

Hating

People who buy this massage candle’s cheese shouldn’t be practicing making babies…

Wanting.

I love Late Chocolate’s blindfold — binding your eyes opens you to trust spiked with risk, which can be as delicious as pleasure spiced with pain.

A silk tie would work as well, though…

Using.

Late Chocolate’s Pleasure Box houses flavored and enhancing rubs, in purse-ready packages.  A Late Chocolate Pleasure Box is discreet enough to lay open on your nightstand — but its results aren’t so quiet…

Hating.

Love and hate are two sides of the same coin, and I’m flipping on this Late Chocolate perfume — it’s got this thick smell, almost like chocolate liqueur and orange. If you don’t have a signature scent yet, Late Chocolate’s perfume is worth sniffing…

Wanting.

Marlies Dekkers is the Giuseppe Zanotti of lingerie: she crafts quirky, bold, intelligent sex.

I love that rope lacing together the back of this Marlies Dekkers thong…

Wearing.

I found these on sale and bought every pair the store had. That backside poof is what a woman should be: amusing and sexy. Buy yourself a pair for V Day…

Hating.

So I’d sport this Marlies Dekker thong. The only reason I’m hating is because that print distracts from the real architecture of Marlies Dekkers lingerie…

Wanting.

Peekaboo. Buy these Kiki De Montparnasse panties (or spend $75+ any way else at KikiDM.com) and get a free gift.

Just use promocode “XXXO”…

Wearing.

Real luxury is completely inconspicuous. Like boyish, black, cashmere bloomers…

Hating.

Red lace lingerie is tough. It only works when it’s intentionally, thoroughly trashy. Otherwise, it feels cheap…

Wanting.

Jimmyjane vibrators are playfully, slyly sexy: just like these black diamonds banding a stainless steel vibrator…

Using.

Beautiful and functional, as too few women are. Scream with it at night, use it as a paper weight at work.

It works as well and as simply as it looks…

Hating.

This “Minx” vibrator — with its pink plume and Swarovski crystal detailing — is best left to chicks who think Big is a catch…

Wanting.

Kiki de Montparnasse “Cage” panty.

30% off with promocode “givelove”…

Wearing.

Kiki de Montparnasse thong.

30% off with promocode “givelove”...

Hating.

Kiki de Montparnasse bow thong.

30% off with promocode “givelove”...

Wanting

A ridiculousy sexy panty by Marlies Dekkers that would work as regular wear.

Slip it on Monday morning; why wait for a date night to seduce?

Too few people understand that they should always want to sex themselves…

Wearing

Marlies Dekkers sent me her lingerie as an introduction, since the Dutch line just launched a store in New York’s Plaza Hotel.

All intros in life should be so bold and charming.

The lingerie’s sophisticated, but simple in its purpose: it just makes you look better (almost) naked…

Hating

I love that Marlies Dekkers swimwear is an echo of her lingerie:
Plain sexy.

But you’d hate this bikini, too, if it weren’t in your size…

Wanting

Lingerie should either be wearable as outerwear, or vibe completely absurd outside a closed bedroom. I’m not sure which this Stella McCartney teddy is…

Wearing

Wearing white undies non-date days is lame. Wear these, and seduce yourself at your office. Then sue yourself for sexual harassment. And make a reality TV show out of it. Paris called, she’s interested…

Hating

The only time a bra is sexy or useful is when it’s bundled up on the floor, next to the bed…

Wanting.

Betony Vernon “jewel tools” are a “response to all things… evil and cheap that don’t give people a chance to explore the power of the body.” Thanks, Betony, for justifying spending $700 on a tickler…

Wearing.

Most jewelry is such a chick: beautiful, boring, and a waste of money. But this Betony Vernon knuckle duster is bold and useful: flip the pearls into your palm and shake someone’s hand…

Hating.

Granted, I’m a goddamn prude, but how do you wring pleasure out of this, or even use it? These Q’s, along with, “Are those pictures of your kids?” are things that should never be asked in bed…