我恨蝴蝶花，从墙壁只落的墙壁花，当他们看见时更强的事他们要紧贴对，支持他们。
得到在一天扔的乏味开花喜欢。
我喜欢的唯一的花是象黑玫瑰在这些 亚历山大McQueen胸衣凉鞋. 那么聪明地塑造，那么仔细地构造，独特的秀丽小的黑暗的云彩做这些亚历山大McQueen鞋子上司。 不同于模仿者和阴险的主妇，玫瑰能独自容易地站立。
眼睛宽关闭，想象：
玫瑰将做 伟大的肉馅饼正确？
» 亚历山大McQueen胸衣凉鞋 $1,124， Net-a-Porter.com
张贴 $1,000-$1,500, 亚历山大McQueen, 黑色, 鞋子, 银 | 3聪明的评论”
这 Chloe Iren别针 是怎么上司夫人应该称呼： 所有聪明的线和坚定的形状、所有锋利的闪烁和纯净的处女白色。
哪些提醒我这根Chloe Iren别针也将运转伟大别住你的那条裙子，正义命中您的膝盖的那个。
由于象夫人，这根Chloe Iren别针得到它：
生活是短的。 您的裙子应该是，也是。
» Chloe Iren别针 $615， Net-a-Porter.com
在家留下您的Chanel协定，旅行光给您的节日晚会：
您的金钱、薄菏、钉头锤、机动性和三个避孕套褶裥到a里 特德Rossi传动器银的裂片包围。
Use the mirror metallic leather to triple-check yourself as often as you like, without anyone knowing.
And you should–you look hot, even better than the dude you’re dancing with.
So ditch him, and you and Ted Rossi have a quick bit of fun by yourselves in the bathroom.
» Ted Rossi clutch $325, Vivre.com
Posted in $200-$550, Bags, Clutch Purse, Leather, Silver | 5 Smart Remarks »
“Hi, may I speak with Kristopher?”
“This is she,” I say, waiting for the usual–
“Oh! Oh… I thought–”
“That I was a gay man?”
“Heh heh! Well,” he says, “I saw your site and the photo and I figured it was stock photography, and then, you know, that part of your site that says, ‘SEX’ in all caps, that didn’t seem like something typically a girl would write.”
“I’m not typical. And though I’m flattered you thought I was a random model, does that mean you also thought the Kristopher behind all these dirty words was a fat man who likes it on his stomach?”
Posted in $200 or less, Cover Story, Fashion, Jewelry + Watches, Silver | 12 Smart Remarks »
Halloween is all about:
Goth glam and black fun.
Getting a spell on.
Dressing more slutty than usual.
Which would be hard, without these Jimmy Choo boot shoes called “Spell.”
Happy Halloween, lovelies.
XXXO,
K
» Jimmy Choo boot sling-backs $1,200, Net-a-Porter.com
Posted in $1,000-$1,500, Black, Jimmy Choo, Platform Shoes, Shoes, Silver, Women's Boot | 1 Smart Remark »
I hear my glossy iPhone make its old school ring, and I smile at the blocked number calling, and I answer: “What are you wearing, pool boy?”
“How excited are you about those toys you got in the mail?” asks The Boy.
I finger the blush-pink packaging from Booty Parlor, lying on my desk. “Not as excited as I was before I used them.”
“Already?” asks The Boy. “Did you light candles and have a glass of wine?”
“Of course,” I say. “But within five minutes I grabbed my tits. So then I slapped myself. I said, ‘Who the fuck do you think you are?’
Posted in $200-$550, Bags, Clutch Purse, Cover Story, SEX, Silver | 3 Smart Remarks »
“I just got a bra that’ll make my tits a whole cup bigger!” I sing into my iPhone, talking to The Boy, my boy. “It’s so boss!”
“How many times did you go to Starbucks today?” he asks.
“Only three,” I say. “Anyway, this bra will satisfy me until I break into my IRA to fund my future Botox addiction.” I watch my face in a mirror, and my brows wrinkle at a shadow of a crease I find framing my smile. “That’s really what my retirement stash is for, because the motherfucking Lord knows I’ll be in my death bed, working, wordsmithing dirty stories while giving you a blow job.”
“I’ve always admired your ambition.”
Posted in $200 or less, Cover Story, Fashion, Jewelry + Watches, SEX, Silver | 5 Smart Remarks »
“Fuck you” shoes are heels with an ambitious arch, a solid sole, “fuck you” shoes are a decidedly bold shoe you’ve earned that stands tall alone, figuratively — they’re confident like you — and literally — they style boss with just trashy lingerie.
“Fuck you” shoes mean you’re on top, whether you’re single or partnered.
And “fuck me” shoes?
“Fuck me” shoes are overpriced designer duds inviting you to get fucked by any dude you think might be able to pay off the credit you used to buy the heels.
Can I get a “fuck yeah”?
» Alberta Ferretti shoes $745, Net-a-Porter.com
Posted in $550-$1,000, Gray, Leather, Shoes, Silver | 16 Smart Remarks »
This crystal Devi Kroell clutch is exactly how a woman should be:
Built unique on her own solid, original base; confidently bold with smart, almost blinding shine; and naturally exclusive about what she lets into her.
Relatedly–
Like a boss Devi Kroell clutch, you should be motherfucking expensive.
» Devi Kroell box clutch $1,890.00, Net-a-Porter.com
Posted in $1,500-$2,000, Bags, Brown, Clutch Purse, Silver, White | 6 Smart Remarks »
With a skull clasp capping a silver, minimalist coffin for your coins and keys, this Alexander McQueen bag is boss for the modern femme fatale.
Bury your celly in the Alexander McQueen clutch, and go murder men at your Monday meeting.
I mean “murder” figuratively. You know, business-wise.
Though if dude makes disparages your sex, you could accidentally step on his toes with your fuck me fuck you shoes.
I mean “accidentally” figuratively, and the “Fuck you” for him–
Literally?
» Alexander McQueen skull clutch $1,010, Net-a-Porter
Posted in $1,000-$1,500, Alexander McQueen, Bags, Clutch Purse, Silver | 3 Smart Remarks »
A quick call, and I haul ass to Beverly Hills–it’s my second date, with my new hair stylist. Since I moved back to the left coast, I’ve been a salon slut of one appointment stands, doing it all over L.A., trading up from my Santa Monica stand-by to 90210 salons. And now I’ve met Sally, a Japanese middle-aged girl with a face rounded like my mother’s. Her nose is gently balled at the tip like my mom’s, her eyebrows her same soft arches, and I see the powder puffs of skin under her earthy eyes and think of the trust of paying someone to do with your head whatever they like.
“Yes, I think you go slightly red, just with a glaze,” she says. She fingers my hair, a convincing caress like her soft sales pitch that I de-virginize my brown bob with a popping cherry color.
“How much maintenance?” I ask, already overbooked.
“It fades and grows out if you don’t like it. You won’t see any roots.”
Life’s short, like my skirt. Fuck it, “let’s do it.”
Posted in $200 or less, Cover Story, Jewelry + Watches, SEX, Silver | 12 Smart Remarks »
Cruising La Cienega Blvd. in La La Land, I’ve passed a billboard preaching, “Life’s short. Have an affair.” I meant to visit the dot-com pimped on its bottom, but since I wasn’t selling myself on the site, I forgot it along with the boulevard’s speed limit.
Then CNN.com picked on the billboard, which is marketing by AshleyMadison.com, a dating dot-com for people prowling for XXXtra-marital affairs.
And while I dig the site’s carpe diem spirit, its guilt-free sex, its implied commandment that thou shalt love yourself first, these reasons exactly are why I’ve never understood cheating: why short change yourself sexing someone you hardly respect, why be contracted to someone dumb enough to ignore your cheating, why–
Marry in the first place? The tax deductions aren’t that great.
Precisely because life is as short as that skirt you’re wearing–
The only affair you should be having is with this NJOY Pure Wand dildo.
XXXO,
K
» NJOY Pure Wand dildo $120, Coco de Mer USA .com
Posted in $200 or less, Silver | Make a Smart Remark »
I often joke I dress like an expensive hooker: the airbrushed black eye shadow, the four-inch (at least) heels, a triple-tiered, peacock-print silk dress I slip on as other girls wear their fav T.
But it’s just jest–
At least the “expensive” part.
Posted in $200-$550, Cover Story, Jewelry + Watches, SEX, Silver | Make a Smart Remark »
Diamonds may be a typical girl’s BFF, but atypical Type-A chicks prefer splurging on stock in a diamond mining co., and stocking up on cheap and chic baubles, like this Kenneth Jay Lane cocktail ring.
Boss, bold, and overblown, this Kenneth Jay Lane cocktail ring is just how I want the life I can buy after investing my money right.
You know, my yacht the SS K, the Monaco penthouse, and a certain part of the decades-younger-than-me Italian toy friend I’ll keep around.
» Kenneth Jay Lane Cocktail Ring $110, Vivre.com
Posted in $200 or less, Jewelry + Watches, Kenneth Jay Lane, Silver | 3 Smart Remarks »
A clever sliver of silver, this Kotur clutch is so simple it’s brilliant, so ruthlessly minimalist it’s rich, this boss Kotur clutch is a metaphor of how I plan to live my life.
Relatedly, the Kotur clutch looks like a designer dildo.
» Kotur Clutch $348, Vivre.com
Posted in $200-$550, Bags, Clutch Purse, Fashion, Silver | 5 Smart Remarks »
Less into "f**k me" shoes and more into "f**k you" shoes, fashion writer KRiSTOPHER DUKES blogs about Alexander McQueen Corsage Sandals, five-inch heels, It bags, and more. »
Because life is short. Your skirt should be, too.™
"Kristopher Dukes win[s] wide praise in the fashion world..."
"[KRiSTOPHER DUKES .com is] a tightly edited daily glam fest..."
"Five-inch heels, It bags, and designer jewelry, with the occasional post about love for almost all things mink. [Kristopher is] courting PETA love."
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