Patrick and Skinner knickers, Patrick and Skinner.com
Congrats to Dave in Rhode Island! He wins $600+ of Patrick and Skinner chocolate and mint lingerie.

I’m sure he’ll look hot in it.

Thanks to all you lovelies for entering.

XXXO,
K

Patrick and Skinner cami and knickers $630, Patrick and Skinner.com

What’s a woman but a body?

What’s a body but a bundle of nerves?

What are nerves but naked sensation, sending sensual commands between your brain and bod, demanding decisions that pay mind to matter, and that matter to your mind?

Like that choice that landed you in such a choice position, with such a choice toyfriend, in a sea of bedclothes that are more than just wrinkled sheets.

Is materialism just for mindless materialists?

Let your body pick with Patrick and Skinner lingerie — win this boss cami and knickers set* by sending me your tale about tail, about what you’d do in this lingerie.
Carb-free brownie points if it involves these.

* Contest ends February 29, 2007 at 11:59 am PST. Winner will be announced March 3, 2008.

Patrick and Skinner cami and knickers $630, Patrick and Skinner.com

Be a man.

Avoid dates described as “really nice.”

Pay for dinner, expect action for dessert.

Feel guilty about sex only if it sucks.

And obsess over women’s bodies, starting with your own.

Decorate yourself with this Patrick and Skinner lingerie — win this boss cami and knickers set* by sending me your naughtiest story about what you’d do in it.

Extra points if it involves these.

* Contest ends February 29, 2007 at 11:59 am PST. Winner will be announced March 3, 2008.

Fendi Hologram clutch $722, Trendora.com

Thank you all for entering, and thanks to e-boutique Trendora™ for sponsoring this Fendi “Hologram” clutch giveaway.

Though the closest to communism I’ve gotten is The Boy taking me to the Kremlin for my birthday, if I could I’d give you all a Fendi bag.

However, until Hillary is president, America’s still home to capitalism. So I’m picking the best entry for the Fendi bag:

Emma!

Thanks to all you boss ladies — and a few dudes — for entering. Read some of the best entries, after the jump.

As always, you ladies really make me want to touch myself touch me.

XXXO,
K

KEEP READING »

Fendi Hologram clutch $722, Trendora.com

You’ve got until midnight to win this Fendi hologram clutch. The best things in life aren’t free, so while I’m giving away a Fendi hologram clutch* with e-boutique Trendora™, it’s no random drawing.

You’ve got to sign up here and tell us why you deserve this boss Fendi clutch.

As always, you ladies really make me want to touch myself touch me.

XXXO,
K

* Contest ends December 31, 2007 at 11:59 am PST. A winner will be chosen January 1, 2008.

Fendi Hologram clutch $722, Trendora.com

You’ve got two more weeks to win a Fendi hologram clutch. The best things in life aren’t free, so while I’m giving away a Fendi hologram clutch* with e-boutique Trendora™, it’s no random drawing.

You’ve got to sign up here and tell us why you deserve this boss Fendi clutch.

Entries don’t need to be epic like those VOGUEs that weigh more than you: just name drop Heidi Fleiss, link to a YouTube vid full of lap dances and dirty talk, and you’re a likely winner.

As always, you ladies really make me want to touch myself touch me.

XXXO,
K

* Contest ends December 31, 2007. A winner will be chosen January 1, 2008.

Jimmy Choo lame bag $1,350 less than a soy latte, ideeli.com

Unless sex counts, I don’t play sports.

But I may make exception for the competitive shopping at ideeli.com. An invite-only shopping community, at ideeli you compete for 50-90% off luxury goods, plus giveaways like this Jimmy Choo bag.

I’ve got 25 ideeli invites for you lovelies.

Clicky click.

XXXO,
K

Barbara Bui boot $745 $670 with promocode “kristopher” *, ShopJake.com

Life’s not a bitch, life’s a beautiful woman with legs ready to spread.

Because of brain, you can dine with her on animals twice as brawny as you, without any more effort than lifting your little finger for a waiter.

You can bed her in a flat higher than fowl fly, you can travel with her faster than a cheetah, you can–

Dress for life in an urbane Barbara Bui boot, made of three different beasts: black suede, black fox fur, black patent leather.

The Barbara Bui boot’s 4½” heel is all ambitious arch, like life should lie down and curve her back for you.

It’s good to be on top–of the food chain.

* GET 10% OFF SHOPJAKE.com WITH PROMOCODE “KRISTOPHER” UNTIL JANUARY 1, 2008.

Fendi Hologram clutch $722, Trendora.com
Give yourself a happy Christkwanzhanukkah, and sign up to win a Fendi hologram clutch. The best things in life aren’t free, so while I’m giving away a Fendi hologram clutch with e-boutique Trendora™, it’s no random drawing.

You’ve got to sign up here and tell us why you deserve this boss Fendi clutch*.

Entries mentioning making more money than god and/or a personal life goal of always wanting to have sex with yourself receive special consideration.

As always, you ladies really make me want to touch myself touch me.

XXXO,
K

* Contest ends December 31, 2007. A winner will be chosen January 1, 2008.

Fendi Hologram clutch $722, Trendora.com

The best things in life aren’t free, everything priceless is never priced less: think an early exit in a f**k-you shoe, think driving a buck-fifty in a Porsche, think…

Sex.

So I’m giving away a Fendi hologram clutch with e-boutique Trendora™, but this time it’s no random drawing. You’ve got to sign up here and tell us why you deserve this boss Fendi clutch*.

Entries mentioning lap dances for the girl named Kristopher who speaks of herself in the third person receive special consideration.

Consider this a holiday thank you for you lovelies reading all the time. It really makes me want to touch myself touches me.

XXXO,
K

* Contest ends December 31, 2007. A winner will be chosen January 1, 2008.