With an unstained wood wedge, with a graceful, femme arch, and with dainty swirls and curls of writing inked in the black and white of your morals, no one’ll ever know why these knotted Nanette Lepore shoes are so “naughty.”

Unless dude at the bar leans close to your feet to read the writing, an inspection which somehow involves his looking up your skirt, and–

You kick him.

Then he might get why these boss Nanette Lepore shoes are naughty.

» Nanette Lepore shoes $465 $232 via Nordstrom

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Christian Louboutin shoes for less than I spend Starbucksing in a month?

That’s actually not so boss, not so amazing.

Let’s rephrase, lovelies.

Louboutins for less than two Benjies?

Mmmhmm.

XXXO,
K

» Christian Louboutin shoes $155 via Barneys.com

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You’re more likely to leave sunglasses in the car and sit on them than Paris Hilton is to do so to her Tinkerbell, than Nicole Richie is to do to her baby.

So stock up on cheap Forever 21 sunglasses, which are just as boss as an iced green tea soy latte for summer.

Cheaper, too.

» Cheap sunglasses $5 via Forever 21.com

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Though I’m not into sharing, my Italiano lover Giuseppe Zanotti is on sale at Bluefly.

So go ahead and take your turn.

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Patent leather Valentino platform pumps are an investment at $499, sans having to pay capital gains tax.

Super boss.

Plus you can’t wear Google stocks.

So reconsider contributing to your IRA this month, and check only the best from Intermix’s sale, lovelies.

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You’ll blink and be 40-something — though Botox’ll will have everyone guessing — with mini mes.

Time jets — so measure it by what you’ve accomplished.

And a boss watch.

Designer watches and everything and its momma are on sale at Nordstrom’s Anniversary Sale.

But like Britney’s panties, just because it’s half-off doesn’t mean it’s hot.

Check my fav on-sale designer watches below, lovelies.

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I love you, but you’re too talented to pop out a kid already; I don’t want to see your mini-me yet.

So cinch up that tiny tent of a babydoll with a belt, baby doll, and stop making me worry you’re more preggers than Britney circa K-Fed.

» Designer belts $75-$525 via Saks.com

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Just because LiLo’s top is half off doesn’t make her hot, and–

Same goes for metallic Marc-y Marc Jacobs flats.

You deserve only the most boss from Barney’s sale, lovelies.

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Though sashimi is delish, eel-skinned clutches deluxe, and little sharkskin frocks divine to rock, like any boss lady, I’m wary of things fishy. Dudes heavy dishing compliments, dolls lightly selling themselves short, and p.m. play plumped with hype smell a touch much like the Atlantic Ocean to me.

As does investing in a fish-scale Alexander McQueen “Novak” bag for more than 50% off, no matter how “mini” it is.

Vibing too good to be true –

Your K’s afraid it is.

Tagged “Sold out,” ladies, I suppose I’ll play real world instead of runway, I’ll stash my cash in stock instead.

Or stock up on other goodies at Net-a-Porter’s midseason sale.

Give me a double soy latte to decide.

» Mini Alexander McQueen “Novak” bag $566 via Net-a-Porter

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Half way into January, dolls, and it’s still a fresh a new year -

Maybe you’ve spent your first 15 days of two-double-oh-seven resolving to keep your resolutions -

Maybe you’ve been hustling smarter, playing harder, saying tah-tah to ugly unneccessaries, saying hello to gorgeous opportunities you’ve earned -

Like 15% off Style-Scene.com via promocode “oohlalove.” *

» Tulina Pasque bag $350 $297.50 via Style-Scene.com

* Offer good until January 31, 2007.

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Ooh la love, these lace-up Antonio Berardi “Nocciola” boots are your perfect post-Thanksgiving indulgence, because:

This lace-up Antonio Berardi boot’s four-inch heel has you watching you walk, keeping you on your toes, glamming up your gams after two too many pumpkin soy lattes.

This Antonio Berardi boot is laces up tighter than your summer’s corset belt, especially after Mom’s pecan pie.

This Antonio Berardi boot - and all other shoes and bags at the highly-edited Marky boutique - are 10% with promocode “kristopherdukes”.

» Lace-up “Nocciola” Antonio Berardi boot $659 $593.10 at ShoesByMarky.com

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With holidays right ’round the corner, it’s time for your winter fling.

And while dirrty spice is nice, why not keep your fun pure, clean, spotlessly white?

Like your name.

Ooh la love, so you’ve got a few holes in it?

Mine’s all neon pink, so I won’t talk.

Instead I’ll see those holes as intentional perforation, as chic texture reflected in your every move.

‘Cause perfectly white is perfectly boring, anyway.

» Deux Lux perforated bag $72 via JanesCloset.com

» Get 15% off JanesCloset.com with promocode “kristopher” or “oohlalove”.

Discount valid until the end of November 2006.

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