With Sony Ericsson’s “Pureness” mobile phone, you can only talk, text, and tell the time. How refreshingly simple.

Only that means in place of my iPhone I’ll also have to stuff my Hermes bag with an Amazon Kindle, laptop, digicam, and small recording device that plays a “We’re sorry, you have reached a number that has been disconnected…” message like the “Disconnected” iPhone app. (Feel flattered if you’ve heard that after dialing my number–it means you’ve made an impression.)

Sony’s take on complicated minimalism is inspiring. I’ll also take my stereo, AC, and lights out of my Porsche, drive around with a boombox and battery-powered fan, and just lean out my window and shine a flashlight down the road at night…

She commanded so much respect that when Playboy interviewed Ayn Rand in the ’60s, she edited the interview, striking some of the writer’s questions, rearranging her answers, and instructing Playboy’s editor how she wanted her introduction to read.

She wrote a novel that people voted as the most influential book, next to the Bible.

She had an affair with a man half her age, with the consent of both their spouses.

She also, according to author of Ayn Rand and The World She Made Kindle book, made a uniform of a black velvet cape, a gold dollar-sign brooch, and an ivory cigarette holder, and used prescription amphetamines to fuel 24-hour writing sessions.

My sort of lady…

I just re-read Joseph Conrad’s novel The Inheritors. Written in 1900 by the author of Heart of Darkness, The Inheritors is a critique and prediction of 20^th century politics: the old order is dragged down by Machiavellian materialists who value only expediency and power.

Tack “and pink chiffon” onto that last sentence, and you have Project Runway winner Christian Siriano’s tome, Fierce Style: How to Be Your Most Fabulous Self.

Kidding. The ebook’s fun and fierce. Fierce, like, undefinably, positively positive, not, like, literally fierce, like fictional politicians who are keen on killing British aristocracy…

CovetShop.com is designer clothing consignment with eBay prices and Net-a-Porter.com gloss. Authenticity is guaranteed, and CovetShop.com calls their curated collection of second-hand, designer duds “pre-loved.”

Aren’t we all.

I love editing my closet almost as much as I dig choosing fresh pieces for it, so I’m selling clothing on CovetShop.com.

And no, this isn’t one of them…

People who have witnessed me on the beach — arms and legs the color of sand, covered in a KD-monogrammed shirt dress and a Marlies Dekkers bikini — won’t be surprised:

Apparently I’ve got mutant skin.

I’ve only done 1.85 SensEpil laser hair removal sessions, and I’ve killed two SensEpil refill cartridges.

Even though a SensEpil refill cartridge costs $50, that’s still cheaper than laser hair removal at a medispa.

Or a matcha green tea soy latte at Urth Caffe…

The Honest Courtesan, a study of Venetian courtesan and writer Veronica Franco’s life and work, is written from a feminist perspective. The Honest Courtesan shows how Franco used her social position to write in defense of women, and how Franco argued the courtesan’s role as having intellectual and artistic — rather than erotic — significance.

Franco was probably a tease like me — The Honest Courtesan isn’t an eBook yet, which is why I’m left in “wanting”…

One of the freshest pieces of The Diary of a Manhattan Call Girl series, you’re in luck –

Despite what people say about Americans’ (lack of) culture, The Diary of a Jetsetting Call Girl ebook is no longer available on Amazon’s US site.

If you need a refresher — then I applaud you — The Diary of… was a sappy series of books about a 30-something Manhattanite who cooed at designer shoes she paid for with sex…

Everyone’s selling it, to some degree.

So I’m reading about two self-made women who did it blatantly, and retired in their forties with what would amount to $22,000,000 cash, in today’s dollar…

Call me a 69-year-old grammy, but I hate Twitter and I always have. A stream of verbal diarrhea, Twitter is over-sharing gone dull: mildly inappropriate talk thanks to the facelessness of the web is sometimes funny, but constant reporting of “now” means “Kristopher is… yawning.”

So welcome macro-blogging site Woofer: you can’t post anything less than 1,400 characters.

Unfortunately, Twitter has so culturally warped us that no one can string together grammatically correct sentences, let alone build a sequence of ideas: Woofer’s somehow already taken over by porn- and spambots. This just proves how ADD 2.0–

Oh, look, The Picture of Dorian Gray trailer on Perez…

Sure, most people equate a Porsche with dough, but a Porsche is like an Hermes bag — timeless form-meets-function design that only evolves, instead of fashioning itself after trends.

So this Porsche Design USB flash drive key is antithetical to the beauty of the brand: it’s a cheap piece of flash that pretends to have a purpose.

Wait, I think I just made it sound attractive to 50% of the population…