هذا [كو] [إيرن] دبوس الزينة كيف رئيس سيدة سوفت هذّبت: كلّ ذكيّة خطوط ويحدّد أشكال, كلّ تلألؤ حادّة وأبيض صافية بتول.

أيّ يذكّر [م-ثيس] [كو] [إيرن] عمل دبوس الزينة أيضا عظيمة أن يشبك فوق أنّ حافة من خاصّتي, الواحدة أنّ إصابات صحيحة ركباتك.

لأنّ مثل سيدة, هذا [كو] [إيرن] دبوس الزينة يحصل هو:

حياة قصيرة. حافتك سوفت كنت, أيضا.

» [كو] [إيرن] دبوس الزينة $615, Net-a-Porter.com

شاركت هذا

أنت متينة, غير أنّ ما من [بونك].

أنت تتسلّى "[فوك] أنت" أحذية, غير أنّ لا [ستيل-تود] هم.

أنت يستعصي, غير أنّ سجلك' [س.ا] أبيض صافية.

هكذا [سبورتينغ] أنت هذا [كنّث] [جي] درب سوار إلى اجتماع مجلس, ويرى أنّ مديرتك أحذية مثل قصيرة بما أنّ ه عمل بصير, [تإكستينغ] أنت `صليب الطاولة:

"ينقذ إلهة الملكة."

» [كنّث] [جي] درب سوار $95, [نت--بورتر]

شاركت هذا

أنا في ي ثاني [أفّيس-بيك] [ستربوكس], أيّ [ستربوكس-ند] موقعة اجتماع أنا أقرّر أن ينتظر خارجا العاصفة ال [ل.]. تاجرت, يعوّم ب آخر صويا [لتّ], على جزيرة من شريط مركز تجاريّ في, مثل, تماما الواد?

أنا أعوم إلى الأمين صندوق. "سيتلقّى أنا كرملة [سوغر-فر], يثلّج صويا [لتّ]. طلقة خردق إضافيّة [غي]."

ينظر الأمين صندوق في ي, مهذّبة. "[أنثينغ لس]?"

أنا أمسح الصفوف الفطيرة حلوة, ضدّ إرادتي, ويرى الكعك أنا قد كنت صحراء [إيسلند-هونغري] ل بما أنّ مدّ و جزري حمراء لفّ في أيام [أغو]. “I’ll take a chocolate chip cookie, please.” He drops one into a bag, and the cookie’s little weighted noise sounds like the future echo of me hitting a bathroom scale. “I shouldn’t have one because I want to get crack whore-thin, but I’ll just throw up the cookie in the restroom later.”

His eyebrows raise into a question mark: his brows the curve, his pinched mouth the dot.

“Times like these we can’t waste a minute being unrealistic,” I say. “Also, I’m trying to get wireless internet in here for an S.O.S. back to L.A., but it’s a pain in my never-done-yoga-in-my-life ass. What am I doing wrong?”

“I can give you a brochure.” He reaches for a life jacket-yellow pamphlet that someone’s already tossed at me.

“It’s like you’re throwing me a brick as a life saver–not helpful,” I say. “Should I just throw my computer against the wall? Will that fix it?”

He finally cracks, a little smile. “Here’s your receipt.”

» Mesi Jilly shell ring $285, Vivre.com

Share This

The Boy and I catwalk down a super market aisle, looking at food, the opposite scene of me sitting at the L.A. fashion show I’ve ditched, where I’d be watching underfed sticks runway–instead of eying models, we’re modeling suburban bliss.

Only we act like children instead of have them, The Boy’s almost old enough to be my father, and I’ve my hand down the back of his pants.

“Am I anything but a sex object to you?” he asks, his voice perfect pitched so that a shopping mother looks over.

“Of course you aren’t,” I say. “As soon as your body goes, so do I. Forget your brain and accomplishments–you’re nothing but a piece of lean meat to me.”

“That’s rather sexy.”

“You’re sexy,” I coo, squeezing his ass as he grabs a can of cookie dough.

Continue reading »

Share This

I’m so smart my ass has a higher IQ than the last dude I sexed, so I celebrated my brain prancing ’round my home office in a “smart ass“-stamped thong.

A panties slogan so more seductive than an obvious “EAT ME,” the thong made me slap my own ass, and now I’m suing KRiSTOPHER DUKES, LLC for sexual harassment.

Even though I secretly liked it.

» Smart Ass Gals “Smart Ass” thong $22, Smart Ass Gals .com

» Use promocode “kdgalpal” and get 20% orders of $50+, plus get free shipping if you spend $75+ at SmartAssGals.com*

* Offer expires December 31, 2007

Share This

This crystal Devi Kroell clutch is exactly how a woman should be:

Built unique on her own solid, original base; confidently bold with smart, almost blinding shine; and naturally exclusive about what she lets into her.

Relatedly–

Like a boss Devi Kroell clutch, you should be motherfucking expensive.

» Devi Kroell box clutch $1,890.00, Net-a-Porter.com

Share This

One of my fav Manhattan memories? Cuddling in a snow white vintage mink coat, hands toasting in an antique seal fur muff, legs wrapped in leather boots thigh-high, escaping the raw cold in an unnaturally warm restaurant.

That served yuppie vegan food.

I love being on top of the food chain. I order grilled shark at a cafe for the satisfaction of eating something that’d otherwise eat me if it weren’t for my mind, I clutch urbane snaky bags as a primal celebration of conquering Mama Nature, and I adore this Unearthed crocodile cuff as a smart “Fuck you” to a dino-old species that’d make a bracelet out of my albino skin–very exotic for Los Angeles–if it had the brain to do so.

Boss enough for your p.m. play, the ivory crocodile cuff is gloss enough for your business lunch.

The one you’re sure to kill.

» Unearthed crocodile cuff in ivory $125 via Etsy.com

Share This

I’ve been shopping for fall 2007 since the July ended, and I can’t wait to rock my new clothes. Besides waiting for the weather to chill, when’s it right to start wearing my new fall wardrobe?

When it comes to first date S-E-X, to sipping champagne poured for cliche toasts, to boss designer duds waiting in your wardrobe, I wonder—

Why wait?

Life is short.

And your fall skirts should be, too.

XXXO,
K

» Jay Ahr dress $2,650, Net-a-Porter

» Via TopButton.com

Share This

With only Al Qaeda up to its usual hijinx, major news turns to chatting about Miss New Jersey’s “not ladylike” photos: she’s drinking, she’s holding up two pumpkins to her breasts on Halloween, she’s laughing while her boyfriend bites her her bra.

Le shocking.

Though the photos were formerly Facebook’ed, Madame Jersey’s allegedly being blackmailed with the pics and asked to not compete for Miss America’s crown.

Hard luck: now Miss New Jersey–whom I didn’t even know existed–gets to endear her generically pretty face to America on CBS and CNN, she’ll probably get offered a reality TV show, and she–

Could likely just rock these ladylike Brian Atwood shoes and walk away from any doubts of her being anything but.

» Brian Atwood shoes $875 $440, Neiman Marcus

Share This