Αποκριές είναι όλη για:

Goth glam και μαύρη διασκέδαση.

Παίρνοντας μια περίοδο επάνω.

Επίδεσμος πιό slutty από συνηθισμένος.

Όποιος θα ήταν σκληρός, χωρίς αυτούς Παπούτσια μποτών του Jimmy Choo αποκαλούμενη «περίοδος.»

Ευτυχείς αποκριές, lovelies.

XXXO,

» Jimmy Choo boots in gray patent leather $1,125 via Net-a-Porter

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Dear Kristopher,
I recently bought a pair of fur boots. They are knee-high and beige grey. They are real fur, and I’m uncertain of how to wear them without coming across as ordinary, awkward, or a Chewbacca! Do you have any advice?

Thanks,
Camilla

I’m always full of advice, always full of soy lattes, always full of _____ (feel free to leave a comment and fill in the blank, you dirty, lovely things).

It’d be obvious to rock your fur boots with some second-skin pants and a tunic, but–

You’re not obvious. So check this boss little red dress by Karen Zambo Vintage Couture ($330). Neither vintage nor couture, it’s a simple shift in a red, sunset print, and the fresh frock will style cheeky chic against your furry boots, without being overly gimmicky.

Unlike this punch line.

XXXO,
K

» Fur boots $375 $225 via ColeHaan.com

» Want to know how to rock a leopard skirt, where to buy trashy lingerie, or the meaning of life? Email KRiSTOPHER.

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I’ve only lived in America all twenty-some years of my life, and from what I understand Labor Day should be celebrated not laboring. But so long as Starbucks is serving iced soy green tea lattes, I’m grinding hard, prowling the web for the most boss Christian Louboutins for you lovelies, I’m positively sweating for shoes that spell S-E-X.

Like this Christian Louboutin boot.

With a long and hard heel stuck into an ambitious arch, with peek-a-boo strips of leather and fishnet melting into a passion-red sole, this Christian Louboutin boot is the perfect shoe for a Labor Day that celebrates the pleasure and profit of being a woman working for herself.

So slip on these Christian Louboutin boots, and work your tight little ass off.

Lying on your back.

…With your laptop balanced on your stomach as you innocently tickle your typepad and write the opposite-of-wet business plans.

» Christian Louboutin boot in fishnet $970, Bergdorf Goodman

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A five-inch heel in cognac leather that’s second-skin up to your knees means these boss Christian Louboutin boots will have you looking like a very pretty woman come fall double-oh-seven.

These Christian Louboutin boots–with your little virgin white dress–may style you so pretty a woman, that these “fuck me” “fuck you” boots might pay for themselves.

Lewd wink, wink.

Because, you know, a monk will see you on Sunset Blvd. in West Hollywood and offer to take you to a classy dinner of holy bread and alcohol-free wine that costs about a grand.

That’s what I was implying.

» Christian Louboutin boots $1,295, Net-a-Porter.com

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Though I’m not into sharing, my Italiano lover Giuseppe Zanotti is on sale at Bluefly.

So go ahead and take your turn.

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Hi! I was wondering if you knew of any open-toe boots? I totally fell in love with the ones from the movie In Her Shoes. (Cameron Diaz’s character wears a kick-ass pair in the scene were she gets kicked out of her sister’s house.) Do you know who the designer is by any chance? I was thinking they could be Louboutin. Not sure… Please help!

Thank you
Galaxie

The closest I could find to Cameron Diaz’s peep-toe boots in In Her Shoes are these Givenchy open-toe boots–

But these open-toe boots are sold out on Zappos Couture.

Your other options, lovely? A thickly T-strapped Gucci sandal ($382), Faith’s open-toe boots (£45/$92), or–

Figuring out how to turn Tom Ford straight, because, though my name is Kristopher and I like boys, I don’t think his sexual orientation moons around me.

How will that help you get Cameron Diaz’s open-toe boots? Not sure.

XXXO,
K

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These patent-tipped Christian Loboutin boot shoes — or Christian Loboutin shoe boots — are exclusive to e-boutique Net-a-Porter, and, in my soy latte-soaked mind, exclusive to my alternate life –

I should have loved these patent-tipped, faux-buttoned Christian Louboutin boot shoes were I trapped in Harry Potter book series.

As the trampy, vampy substitute teacher at Hogwarts.

» Christian Louboutin boot shoes $925, Net-a-Porter

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I love your sense of style. I have these boots and they are fierce, but I have no idea what to wear with them that would be equally chic. I was thinking sweater dress, but it seems blah. I’m hoping you can help me. And believe it or not… They look even more FABULOUS in person. The expresso color is rich and they look so hot. Sometimes I wear them around the house in bra and panties… But, alas I can’t go outside like that.
Indigo

Which is a shame, I know.

So since you can’t vibe S-E-X in all caps, style more your boss lady boots more cheeky chic, a la a crayon-yellow, dungaree dress from See by Chloe ($410).

The See by Chloe dress’s lemon yellow will rock right against your boots’ espresso, the See by Chloe frock’s blooming mini will play against your boots’ second-skin cut, and the See by Chloe’s mini mini –

May give you reason to consider keeping on that oh so pretty underwear of yours.

XXXO,
K

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Outside of Manhattan winters, here’s how you get your K in jeans -

Have Giuseppe Zanotti line denim in leather, stitch it second-skin tight, found it on a 4½” heel, top it with a white leather cuff.

S-E-X with my Italiano lover Giuseppe Zanotti, glammy dead animals, and a too-tall heel?

I’m there.

» Preorder denim Giuseppe Zanotti boot $850, Saks.

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