Dear Kristopher,
I have my prom coming up, and I’m desperately trying to find that one perfect dress: not unflattering, not at all typical, and gorgeous, and hopefully, something that fits in with my budget and stands out in a crowd. I’m short, with doll-like features and dark hair. I have an ulterior motive: my ex is going to be at that prom and I’d prefer not to appear too drab or too run-down. I admit, I would rather look nonchalantly fabulous, and make sure that when we casually bump into each other I’m not going to be the one regretting my choice. Any suggestions?
– Camille

Your K actually traded her La La Land prom for Puccini — the idea of dressing to the nines was tempting, until I realized I could dress to the tens and hit the opera instead. And while I still have the vintage LBD I rocked, I’m wishing I’d girled about town in this 24K, 1977 Halston dress.

Pure, iconic S-E-X, though I’m afraid you and I both have better things to do with a few Gs. So invest instead in this brick red, one-shouldered Halston, for few Mr. Benjamins — in a timeless cut, the frock will rock right for your big high school night, and grow up with you past prom.

Unlike that silly boy that let you go.

» Gold vintage Halston dress (shown) $3,325 via Posh Vintage
» Red one-shouldered vintage Halston dress $325 via Vintageous.

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A very red eye back into La La Land, and your K’s (barely) functioning on her third night of four hours of barely beauty sleep, and third day of three triple soy lattes.

So I slip on a slip of a Miu Miu dress to pad about my pad, to snuggle with my laptop and e-conversate, to force my fingers to fly across my keypad until seven or eight p.m., when I’ll slip on skyscraper sandals over tights under my Miu Miu slip to slip out for a date –

I’ll be sharing soy lattes and toy friend stories with my BFF at Getty.

» Miu Miu slip dress $385 via Net-a-Porter

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Kristopher:

Hi, Friday emergency call.

I’m a maid of honor in my best friend’s wedding overseas. The wedding is taking place in a colonial cathedral by the beach. Nice, right? Not. The dress code had only a horrific word next to it which my subconscience ignored conveniently: WHITE. The wedding is in 15 days and I have to pull off a wedding outfit ensemble that looks chic enough to have my ex (he’s gonna be the best man) drool over my virginal whiteness… May I mention I’m in New York! There’s barely any store with anything white that looks remotely decent. I need help, an intervention from the gods, a latte, anything! INSIGHT!!!

In luv with your blog always,
Em

And I’m in love with you, Ems.But before we get married, let’s get you your intervention from the gods, insight, and a soy latte rolled into one petite, chic, and smoky-eyed package –
Let your K help you style your wedding with your ex.

Too tall heels that spell S-E-X come before your requisite little white dress, always, and especially given your situation, doll. Check these Giuseppe Zanotti shoes ($595, eLUXURY), a 4.25″gladiator of a wedge, which’ll rock right with this white frock.

Now go get your beach party on, love.

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I love wearing high-waisted skirts at the moment - but how would I wear a jacket/sweater with one in winter? A normal length jacket would obviously cover up the high waist, but on the other hand a cropped jacket would look out of proportion!
- Karina

A cropped jacket would actually be perfectly in proportion, doll. And if your high-waisted skirt’s a skinny pencil of a thing, a cropped swing coat or capelet would bring balance to your long, thin bottom.

If you don’t like to rock such an exaggerated look, though -

Find me in a beaded cocktail dress, too-tall heels, and a smoky eye in the AM at Starbucks.

- Your K gets it.

Continue reading »

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Hey, Kris! Love the blog. How ’bout advice on wearing a black satin bubble skirt? I don’t wanna look costumey… Thanks.
Em

Life, love, is all about balance.

So forget any sort of tunic or loose blouse on top of that bubble skirt, and opt instead for a slinky, second-skin top. Your black bubble skirt would rock right with a simple, ballerina leotard tucked into it. I dig this white scoop neck and back leotard ($14).

Let the volume of your bubble skirt stretch your legs long by slipping on some skyscraper heels, like these lace-up, lacey Marc-y Marc by Marc Jacobs pumps ($179).

Go get your holiday party on.

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Kristopher, I love your blog. I was just reading the advice you gave Sam and being a 16 year old girl of 5′11 I wanted to know if you had any tips for dressing tall. I weigh about 130 pounds, so I’m very petite which has turned out to be more of a burden then a blessing… I can never find clothes that fit my non-exsistant hips and tops that dont emphasize the fact that the boob gene just passed me by. Don’t even get me started on the issue of finding cute shoes with size 11 feet that aren’t the exact same Hermes ballet flats that I’ve gone through… Also, is it bad to wear heels when you sort of tower over most people? Help me, Kristopher!

Too tall for fashion,
Lexy

Ooh la love, I always wished I was super model tall like you.

And I’d still rock five-inch heels.

Or at least some modest wooden wedges, a la these woven leather Kenneth Cole New York shoes ($315), sized 11, love.

These Kenneth Cole New York shoes would rock right with a swing dress - all twiggy and leggy, you’re one of the few ladies who can really pull off blooming volume. I say spend the fall highlighting your legs for miles with painted-on jeans and loose, layered tunics.

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Ooh la love.

Though I usually don’t do dresses other than flapper frocks, I adore this crayon green dress from Forever 21. Fresh, cheap and chic, ladylike without being stuffy, it’s perfect the summer.

I’ve actually seen it in person, and while you won’t be able to cherish this poly-cotton blend for the rest of your life, you’ll get some bang for your 27 bucks.

By the way, lovelies, “Elements of Style” is on holiday. We’ll just have to catch a soy latte together and bask in each other’s fabulousness for you to see me rock flapper frocks and five-inch-heels.

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Ooh la love.

I like to get all dolled up for soy latte dates with my laptop, my little iBook treats me like a princess (unlike my parasite-ridden PC).

Lotta Stensson dress: I think I’ll just frame this dress instead of hanging it up in my closet. Gorgeous beading, an elegant cut, and a drop waist make it flapper, raw edges and a low neckline keep it fresh.

Ponyskin pumps: Calfhair printed with leopard, platform paired with a stiletto, delicate slingback straps, I’m wearing these heels to death, can you blame me? An inch taller, and these heels would be glued to my feet.

And my daily recipe for face:

5 lbs. e.l.f.’s “Drama” eyeshadow
3 coats black mascara
Smear of black eye liner
Dash of e.l.f’s “Strawberry Creme” lip balm
Pinch of e.l.f’s “Natural Radiance” blusher

If you didn’t already know, all e.l.f. cosmetics are $1 a pop, and you can get a free compact when you purchase four or more elements.

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Ooh la love. How’s this Jenny London flapper dress for hot? It’s more refreshing than a soy latte at 2 am, especially after all this neo 1950’s ish that’s been floating around fashion.

I’m declaring war on all those ladylike looks, all that constrictive clothing, impractically full skirts and skinny pants, and their celebration of a more womanly hourglass figure (AKA, the body type best suited to birthing).

Join my fight, declare your independence -

Rock a totally short, vampy dress.

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This is one of my favorite outfits - translated into catty fashionista-ese, that means, yes, I’ve mismatched these shoes with this dress before.

I adore this dress - the psychedelic pattern, the simple cut. It was actually my friend’s mother’s muu-muu from the 70’s. I trimmed it down and accidentally shrunk it in the washer, et voila! Eva Franco makes a similar floral frock you could rock.

The belt is by Yudit M - it’s a tad hard to make out, but it has these beautiful cut-outs similar to those that decorate their handbags. Sometimes I also sport a Chanel knock-off Chanel-inspired leather and chain belt over the dress.

Everyone thinks the tights are by Dolce Dior & Gabbana Gucci Pucci, but I actually bought them at Target a few years ago. I’m eying these Frederick’s of Hollywood leaf-patterned tights as their successor.

I bought my lime and black-spotted peep-toe pumps on sale a year or so ago at an Upper East Side boutique. The poor darlings’ leather is getting crackly since I’ve soaked them in New York rain, so I might replace them with C Label peep-toe wedges.

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We all have those little outfits we toss on to run errands. Here’s what I rock when I run out for soy milk and Italian roast coffee beans.

Vintage Beaded Cocktail Dress: Originally a frightening full-length 80’s beaded gown, I took my scissors to it, got my tailored involved, and voila! A neo flapper frock.

Cowgirl Boots: Suede pull-on boots with a great stiletto heel and a bit of a cowgirl feel. It’s a secret where they’re from.

Vintage silk paisley scarf: I can’t remember how or when this scarf made it into my wardrobe, but it’s practically disintegrating after years of being worn around my waist, tied onto a purse, and sported as a head scarf.

And my daily recipe for face:

5 lbs. e.l.f.’s “Drama” eyeshadow

3 coats black mascara

Smear of black eye liner

Dash of e.l.f’s “Strawberry Creme” lip balm

Pinch of e.l.f’s “Natural Radiance” blusher

If you didn’t already know, all e.l.f. cosmetics are $1 a pop, and you can get a free compact when you purchase four or more elements.

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Great Gatsby gone Gap? J Crew jazz baby? I believe I’m saved from prep overdose with my minky pal on my shoulders.

Max Studio Green Chiffon Dress: I slip on this chiffon dress and I can’t figure out why only 70% of my wardrobe is made up of silk dresses.

Vintage belt: Hard to make out, but it’s navy and maroon striped deliciousness. I’m boycotting waist-cinching belts and everything neo 1950’s.

Vintage cap: My mink rosette cap has been glamorously hiding that I desperately need my hair trimmed. Shh.

Vintage wedge platforms: 5″ inches of easy to wear wooden heel. New York City jogging shoes.
And my daily recipe for face:

5 lbs. e.l.f.’s “Drama” eyeshadow
3 coats black mascara
Smear of black eye liner
Dash of e.l.f’s “Strawberry Creme” lip balm
Pinch of e.l.f’s “Natural Radiance” blusher

If you didn’t already know, all e.l.f. cosmetics are $1 a pop, and you can get a free compact when you purchase four or more elements.

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Navy and white striped nautical dress: A chic, second-skin-tight birthday gift from Mom.

Brown faux fur coat, vintage: I bought it for a buck from an Los Angelese yardsale. I prefer real dead animals, but faux fur can be sweet, especially a la Rebecca Taylor.

Wooden bangle by Jill.i Designs: it’s made of tiny squares of wood, set between two 14k gold wires.

Leopard-print ponyskin pumps: One of my fav pets, I ooh la love their pin-thin 4″ stiletto. Brian Atwood makes similar leopard slingbacks.

And my daily recipe for face:

5 lbs. e.l.f.’s “Drama” eyeshadow

3 coats black mascara

Smear of black eye liner

Dash of e.l.f’s “Strawberry Creme” lip balm

Pinch of e.l.f’s “Natural Radiance” blusher

Psst, doll face: all e.l.f. cosmetics are $1 a pop, and you can get 10% OFF your total e.l.f. purchase with promocode ELF10.

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