So I listen to too much Jay-Z.

Months ago, I had a pinkie ring planned: a white gold square up to my little knuckle, with a “K” lightly hand-etched on.

And then I saw this photo of Coco Chanel.

Of course…

How simply choice is a thumbprint replacing a family crest on a signet ring? But since this ring is pimped by a gallery, I wonder: is this Gerd Rothmann “Signet” ring a statement about vain individuality replacing tribal pride? Or is fingerprinting a “signet” ring — which were traditionally used to authenticate official documents — a wink at how privacy and security have dissolved? Or –

Could any other blog post better illustrate that I have a bachelors degree in Pseudo-Intellectual Masturbating?

Let’s discuss…

The International Watch & Jewelry Guild (IWJG) trade show crams millions of dollars worth of merch in a Vegas Hilton conference room roamed by guard dogs at night. A IWJG member has to vouch for you — photo ID, please — before you can see loose diamonds rolled up in tissue paper, watch vintage Pateks replace cash as currency, and hear friendly haggling set market prices.

The veneer of the bling business is stripped away, and you’re left with the soul of what most people would sell their souls for.

No one at the IWJG would, though.

But they will cut you a deal on a Paul Newman Rolex Daytona…

In a shiny, soft gray, with a big black button and baby platform, something about this Stella McCartney rubber wedge boots vibes a little 35-year-old girl.

But the real crime is that these aren’t leather…

The way that this Lanvin rubber wedge boot is almost only one width drives me mad…

I had to warm up to this Celine rubber wedge boot, but I fig the stamped logo will miss most people’s notice, and any of its cheese is outweighed by a rubber wedge boot equal parts pretty and practical. Pretty Woman patent black leather is waterproof, and a platform rubber wedge has treads so you can trek through snow.

I’ve to to consider function over form, sometimes. Los Angeles winters are harsh…

Hermes Herbag is a discontinued tote that comes with two different bodies that you can swap the leather top between.

Fun, but I just love that rubberized canvas roughing up an otherwise classic Kelly shape. This Hermes Herbag — in 40 cm with palladium hardware — is my MacBook’s new mate.

Ask Pam Anderson, P Spice, and whoever’s hot on The Hills — Birkins are boring, dahling…

Maggie Ward is very ready-to-wear that’s like your best friend: you want everyone to understand how wonderful Maggie Ward is, without having to share her. I’d love to tell you how Maggie Ward takes iconic sportswear — sweatpants, dolphin shorts, sweatshirts — and spins them out of sueded silk, artisanal Japanese fabric, and washable stretch leathers. I’d love for you to understand all the effort that goes into designing this effortless chic –

Without having to see another chick in it.

But you’re going to buy this jumpsuit, too, because Maggie Ward re-imagined this classic right –

This Maggie Ward jumpsuit is that most choice Charlie’s Angels jumpsuit, only made more timeless in a subtle silk.

Tell me before you wear it next time, so we can avoid some blushing…

I didn’t see this Black Fleece shift dress at the Black Fleece boutique in New York, otherwise I would have put my Black Fleece knit suit back on the rack and found a matching jacket for this shift.

Made of pure camel hair in Italy, this Black Fleece dress is detailed with horn buttons on the back, and its straight skirt falls below the knee.

Ditch the obvious Hervé — it’s infinitely sexier to be so conservatively covered up in something the color of your skin…

The concept of Black Fleece is smart: Brooks Brothers gone bro. But a kitten-heeled, peep-toed spectator pump? I get the wit, but that heel is more dated, ironic or not…