Jewelry
What Your K Is…
Wanting.I prefer a happy marriage of form and function, but like a man I can be a sucker for simply pretty… |
Wearing.Ignore the model’s slouch, this slip of silk is elegant in its effortlessness, boss as a basic… |
Hating.If you priced this $5 and the only label stamped on it was “Made in China,” would you buy it… |
Louis Vuitton That’s Love Brooch
Louis Vuitton That’s Love brooch $310, eLUXURY.com
I love an alphabet’s worth of four-letter words; L-O-V-E is one of them.
L-O-V-E is often priced R-I-C-H, L-O-V-E is the power to pick your B-O-S-S, but, most importantly, L-O-V-E means enjoying a much less overused and abused four-letter word:
A lovely F-U-C-K.
But did I really need to spell that out?
Jules Smith Designs Earrings, “Kiss Kiss”
Jules Smith Designs earrings $98, Jules Smith Designs.com and Intermix
Little lips kiss your ears, mini mouths open to possibilities, whispering silver slivers of hope–
Since he’s already married, he won’t ask me to tie myself down for him outside of the bedroom, right?
Kiki de Montparnasse Handcuffs + Key
Kiki de Montparnasse 24K handcuff and key necklace $175, KikiDM.com
A wedding ring’s a simple circle, a mostly empty symbol of a life rotating ’round another.
If I had to be tied down for a man, if I had to restrain myself to please someone else–
I’d prefer they did it with handcuffs.
Jade Jagger Necklace, “Kiss”
Jade Jagger “Kiss” necklace $610, Net-a-Porter.com
A kiss shouldn’t be a PG peck on the pout, a stamp of lukewarm affection, a hellishly average hello.
A kiss should be a smear of passion, a pure gold payment for pleasure, a kiss should be like this boss Jade Jagger necklace: a big-ticket, rare expression of lust.
Though the necklace would look better as panties.
Dic(k)tionary: Social Slut
White Trash Charms necklace $938, White Trash Charms.com
so·cial slut [soh-shuh l sluht] noun. a person who is promiscuously nice.
Ex: He was as polite to a dumb housewife as he was to a hot whore; he tasted hamburger with the same relish as he ate filet mignon.
