Leave your Chanel compact at home, travel light to your holiday party:留下你的夏奈尔紧凑，在家里，旅行轻，以你的度假方：

Your money, mints, mace, mobile, and three condoms tuck into a你的钱，薄荷糖，梅斯，移动，和三个避孕套塔克成 Ted Rossi clutch 泰德罗西离合器 , a sliver of a silver envelop. ，高贵的银色信封。

Use the mirror metallic leather to triple-check yourself as often as you like, without anyone knowing.利用镜子的金属皮革，以三重核对自己常常如你所愿，而没有任何人知道。

And you should–you look hot, even better than the dude you’re dancing with.你应该-你看热点，甚至优于谷你跳舞。

So ditch him, and you and Ted Rossi have a quick bit of fun by yourselves in the bathroom.所以沟他，你和ted罗西有一个快速位元的乐趣呀，在卫生间。

» Ted Rossi clutch $325, Vivre.com » 特德罗西离合器325美元， vivre.com

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I hear my glossy iPhone make its old school ring, and I smile at the blocked number calling, and I answer: “What are you wearing,我听到我的光泽，使iphone的旧学校响，我的笑容在阻断号码接通，我回答： "你是干什么的穿着 pool boy池男童 ?” " ？

“How excited are you about those toys you got in the mail?” asks The Boy. "如何激发你对这些玩具你在邮件？ " ，要求该名男童。

I finger the blush-pink packaging from i指的绯红-粉红色包装 Booty Parlor战利品厅 , lying on my desk.躺在地上，对我的办公桌。 “Not as excited as I was before I used them.” " ，而不是情绪激动，我之前，我把他们" 。

“Already?” asks The Boy. "已经" ？要求男孩。 “Did you light candles and have a glass of wine?” "你有没有点燃蜡烛，并已一杯酒" ？

“Of course,” I say. "当然， "我说。 “But within five minutes I grabbed my tits. " ，但5分钟内i抓住我的山雀。 So then I slapped myself.如此的话，我掌掴自己了。 I said, ‘Who the fuck do you think you are?’我说， '谁他妈的，你认为你是吗？

Continue reading » 继续读»

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There’s something boss about a有什么东西老板约 Louis Vuitton bum bag 路易威登烧伤袋 . 。

The Louis logo brags European chic to balance the bum bag’s timeless tourist vibe, to equal classic style.路易标识自诩欧洲别致，以平衡烧伤袋的永恒旅游vibe ，平等的古典风格。

Like getting mugged in New York’s Times Square, or, similarly–就像抢劫，在纽约的时代广场，或者同样-

Getting fucked up the ass.越来越性交了群丛。

» Louis Vuitton bum bag $710, eLUXURY » 路易威登烧伤袋为七百一十元， eluxury

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This这 crystal Devi Kroell clutch 晶体器件kroell离合器 is exactly how a woman should be:到底是怎样一女应该是：

Built unique on her own solid, original base; confidently bold with smart, almost blinding shine; and naturally exclusive about what she lets into her.建立了独特的对自己的稳固，原基地;满怀信心，勇于同聪明的，几乎致盲的光芒;自然而然专属什么，让她到她。

Relatedly–与此-

Like a boss Devi Kroell clutch, you should be motherfucking expensive.像一个老板器件kroell离合器，你应该motherfucking昂贵。

» Devi Kroell box clutch $1,890.00, Net-a-Porter.com » 器件kroell箱离合器1890.00美元，网- - porter.com

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This Parisian这巴黎 Abaco bag 阿巴科袋 is like a man: you want it to mellow into maturity, to age smart, to–就像一个人：你希望它醇厚成熟，年龄的智能，以-

Have plenty of years to get great in bed.有很多年时间才伟大，在床上。

See the Abaco bag’s front pouch?看到阿巴科袋的战线邮袋？ How it’ll just fit some extremely modest pajamas, perhaps a bunny-print onesie?如何将只适合一些极为温和的睡衣，也许是兔宝宝-打印onesie ？

That’s what I meant.这就是我的意思。

You dirty motherfucker.你肮脏motherfucker 。

» Abaco bag $635, Shop Intuition.com » 阿巴科袋635美元，店intuition.com

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With a skull clasp capping a silver, minimalist coffin for your coins and keys, this与颅骨环胡芳银，最低限度的棺材，为你的硬币和钥匙，这 Alexander McQueen bag 亚历山大并共同袋 is boss for the modern femme fatale.老板是为现代妇女fatale 。

Bury your celly in the Alexander McQueen clutch, and go murder men at your Monday meeting.埋葬你的celly在亚历山大并共同离合器，并去谋杀男人在你的周一会议。

I mean “murder” figuratively.我的意思是"谋杀"的形象。 You know, business-wise.大家都知道，企业明智的。

Though if dude makes disparages your sex, you could accidentally step on his toes with your fuck me但如果谷使得disparages你的性别，你可以不小心踩到他的脚趾与你他妈的我 fuck you shoes他妈的，你的鞋 . 。

I mean “accidentally” figuratively, and the “Fuck you” for him–我的意思是"意外地"打个比方， "你他妈的" ，为他-

Literally?从字面上来看吗？

» Alexander McQueen skull clutch $1,010, Net-a-Porter » 亚历山大颅骨并共同离合器1010美元，网- -波特

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A clever sliver of silver, this聪明的棉条的银牌，这 Kotur clutch kotur离合器 is so simple it’s brilliant, so ruthlessly minimalist it’s rich, this boss Kotur clutch is a metaphor of how I plan to live my life.就是这么简单，它的光辉，让无情的最低限度要求，它的富裕，这个老板kotur离合器是一个隐喻如何，我计划住了我的一生。

Relatedly, the Kotur clutch looks like a与此， kotur离合器看起来像 designer dildo设计师假阴茎 . 。

» Kotur Clutch $348, Vivre.com » kotur离合器348美元， vivre.com

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Life isn’t meant to be boxed, relationships aren’t meant to be stuffed into dull corners, ideas aren’t ink for coward-yellow sticky notes decorating the walls of your cubicle.生活是不意味着可以盒装，人际关系是不是意味着可以装进呆板的角落，意念不油墨懦夫黄色便签装饰墙壁，你的房间。

Life should be a wide-open frolic ’round a world you build, relationships a cyclical trade of pleasure for pleasure, ideas should make up an ever-evolving rainbow you ride and slide into a pot of gold with.人生应该是一个广泛的开放frolic '回合的世界你建立关系，周期性行业的游乐场玩乐，思路应该做出了一个不断发展的彩虹，你坐，并陷入了一盆金。

And the only box you should cherish is a crystal-riddled clutch by Devi Kroell.和唯一的方框，你要珍惜现在是一个水晶千疮百孔离合器由器件kroell 。 Wood becomes urbane as a fresh material for evening gear, set off by rectangular crystals as clear as your independent vision, in a rich brown so that the木材变得彬彬有礼作为一个新鲜的材料，夜间齿轮，掀起了由矩形晶体清楚你的独立眼光，在一个丰富的布朗，使该 Devi Kroell clutch 器件kroell离合器 box is boss with your chocolate mink coat.票房是老板，你的巧克力水貂大衣。

When you take yourself on a date to a vegan cafe.当你拿着自己的一个日期，一vegan网吧。

» Devi Kroell clutch in wood $1,390 via Net-a-Porter » 器件kroell离合器在木材1390美元经网- -波特

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Patent leather isn’t only for a very Pretty Woman .专利皮革，不只是为了一个很漂亮的女人。 Patent leather–quilted into Chanel chic, in a jet-set jet, Birkin-boxy bag–is pure uptown girl.专利皮革quilted到夏奈尔别致，在喷射集射流， birkin -完整袋是纯住宅区的女孩子。

You know, the girls who trade S-E-X for whining and dining instead of a fast flash of cash.你也知道，女孩的贸易性whining及美食而不是一个快速快闪记忆体的现金。 Unlike other ladies sporting patent leather, instead of getting a grand a night, country club chicks lock in a long-term lease, they trade access to their body for access to a trust fund, Park Ave.不像其他的女士们，体育专利皮革，而不是得到了隆重的一个晚上，俱乐部只鸡苗锁定在长期租约，他们的贸易机会，以自己的身体为获得一个信托基金，公园大道 penthouse, and a nanny for their boring babies.复式单位，并保姆，为他们枯燥的婴儿。

All gloss and boss, just like their marriage to the dude who paid for them, this所有的光泽和老板，就像他们的婚姻到谷付出对他们来说，这 Roberto Cavalli bag 罗伯托卡沃利袋 is glassy class, but structured stiff and hardly romantic.是玻阶级，但结构僵硬，很难浪漫。

Not like when you sex yourself.不喜欢当你的性别你自己。

» Roberto Cavalli bag in quilted patent leather $1,790 via eLUXURY » 罗伯托卡沃利袋在quilted专利皮革1790美元途经eluxury

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Even a boyfriend who hit 50 countries in a year was impressed with how I stuffed my “Betty Boopy shit” into a single bag for our one-week trip hitting four cities.连男朋友打了50多个国家，在一年内留下了深刻的印象，与我如何装进我的"贝蒂boopy shit的"成一个单一袋，为我们的为期1周的访问命中4个城市。

While flying buses aren’t excepted from my uniform of hooker heels and flapper frocks–而飞巴士是不例外，从我的制服hooker接踵而至，并flapper frocks -

I pack like a dude. i包像谷。

And I always carry on.我一直进行下去。 When you check in, you’re check yes to a risk of losing luggage, you check yes to your goodies getting fondled worse than you on prom night, you check yes to at least a half-hour that could be better spent with $10 on an iced soy latte at the airport Starbucks.当你检查，你就检查不错，一有可能失去行李时，你检查是为了你的好处，越来越抚弄不如你就可以迅速将晚，你检查是到至少一个半小时可以更好地用于与10元是一个冰镇豆奶而后者在机场星巴克。

So check this carry-on所以，请在此进行安 Diane von Furstenberg luggage 戴安冯furstenberg行李 . 。 The expandable suitcase is lined with DvF logos and a detachable toiletries kit, the pretty pewter makes the Diane von Furstenberg suitcase hard to lose sans shouting “Steal me” like a Louis print, and the boss DvF suitcase has rolling wheels, a necessary convenience when you travel alone and–可膨胀手提箱是衬里dvf标识和一个可拆式洗浴用品包，漂亮的铅锡合金，使得戴安冯furstenberg手提箱硬失去的sans高喊"偷我的" ，就像一个路易打印，和老板dvf手提箱已滚动的车轮，一个必要的方便的时候你的旅行，仅-

Haven’t eaten anything since yesterday.有没有吃什么，因为昨天。

Have a happy Labor Day weekend jetaway, lovelies.有一个愉快的劳动节周末jetaway ， lovelies 。

XXXO, xxxo ，
K k

» Diane von Furstenberg suitcase $200, eBags.com » 戴安冯furstenberg手提箱200元， ebags.com

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Late luxe hotelier and billionaire晚豪华酒店和亿万富翁 Leona Helmsley willed $12 million leona helmsley意志12000000美元 to her Maltese dog dubbed Trouble, and left her grandkids cold and broke.她的马耳他狗被称为捣乱，并离开她孙辈冷和突破。

And since I love animals more than PETA, maybe more than I love a well articulated “Fuck you” from the grave, I want to gently lay this snaky既然我爱动物多善待动物，也许比我更爱清楚地阐明： "他妈的，你的"从坟墓，我想轻轻地打好这蛇形 Oscar de la Renta bag 奥斯卡德法语就业津贴袋 on Ms. Helmsley’s mausoleum.对女士helmsley的陵园。

All platinum python piped with gold hardware and 24K leather, with a slight slouch echoing the shape of ’80s Me Me Me bags, it’s the perfect tribute to Ms. Helmsley.所有白金巨蟒管道输送的黄金硬件和24k皮革，与轻微土豆相呼应的形状，八十年代的我，我袋，它的完美致敬女士helmsley 。

I just pray the python-skin came from an endangered snake.我只祈求的巨蟒皮来自濒临灭绝的蛇。

» Oscar de la Renta Bag in metallic python $3,895 via Vivre.com » 奥斯卡德法语就业津贴袋在非金属巨蟒3895美元途经vivre.com

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An blob of brown fur, just because this Vivienne Westwood designer dud dubs itself “lapin” instead of plain rabbit fur, excuse my fucking French, but even a couple-grand price tag won’t make me question my boss taste and consider this是的blob的棕色皮毛，只是因为这vivienne维斯特伍德设计师哑弹配音本身" lapin " ，而不是平原兔裘皮，原谅我他妈的法语，但即使是一对夫妇-宏伟的售价将不会使我的问题，我老板的滋味，并认为这是 Vivienne Westwood bag vivienne维斯特伍德袋 grand.宏伟。

So why might I still invest in the Vivienne Westwood bag?那么，为什么可能我还是投资在vivienne维斯特伍德袋？

I’m just courting PETA love, and I figure $2,085 is about what I’d pay a publicist for the press I might get toting this Vivienne Westwood tote with a chihuahua smothering in it.我只是讨好善待动物的爱，我的数字2085美元是什么我付出的公关，为新闻界我可能得到入手，这vivienne维斯特伍德细斗与奇瓦瓦扼杀它的雇员。

While I enjoy a veal salad and sip a soy latte.虽然我享受小牛肉沙拉和sip大豆后者。

» Vivienne Westwood bag $2,085 via Net-a-Porter » vivienne维斯特伍德袋2085美元经网- -波特

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Though Christian Louboutin put an Alpaca to non-use, and I do love animals more than PETA–虽然基督教卢布坦把羊驼非使用的，我也喜欢动物多塔-

This这 Christian Louboutin bag 基督教卢布坦袋 is double-kill with calfskin handles, and it isn’t even haute.是双杀与牛犊处理的，它甚至不是haute 。

Or hot.或炎热。

A blob of brown fur, maybe if Christian Louboutin worked in an endangered animal I’d dub it boss.一的blob的棕色皮毛，或许若基督教卢布坦在濒临灭绝的动物我配音，它的老板。

» Alpaca Christian Louboutin bag $1,695 va Saks » 羊驼基督教卢布坦袋1695美元第va部萨克斯

» Via »经 OfftheRack.People.com offtherack.people.com

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You could park your money in a Park Ave.你可以园你的钱，在一个公园大道 shoe box, you could stuff Benjamins under your mattress with your dirty lingerie, you could watch it grow thinner than Nicole Richie in a mutual fund, or you could invest your money in precious metals–鞋盒里，你可以东西benjamins在你的床垫与你的脏内衣，你可以看它的增长比妮可凯莉在一个共同基金，或者你可以投资你的钱，在贵金属-

Like a像 silver metallic Moschino bag 银金属moschino袋 . 。

The twinkle of the crinkle leather is fresh for fall, the brown edging grounds the Moschino bag’s bright risk, and its basic Birkin bag shape makes your buying the Moschino bag as safe as Google’s bluechip stock–在眨眼的crinkle皮革是新鲜的秋季，棕色边缘理由moschino袋的光明风险，其基本birkin袋形状，使你买moschino袋安全谷歌的蓝筹股股票

You’ll be sure to resell the metallic Moschino bag on eBay after you tire of it.你一定要转售非金属moschino袋ebay上后，你的轮胎。

» Silver metallic Moschino bag $1,769 via Zappos.com » 银金属moschino袋1769美元途经zappos.com

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Designer shoes and designer bags at Neiman Marcus’ Last Call sale are almost half off, like Britney’s panties.设计师鞋设计师袋上虽然neimanmarcus '最后呼吁出售的几乎一半折扣，喜欢布兰妮的内裤。

Only these shoes and bags are hot.只有这些鞋子和书包都是热点。

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