Barking at the Cat Burlesque Show


#vegas #wynn #Wynnwouldntcreateanuglyhashtaglikethis
A few of my New Year’s resolutions? Write fiction daily, practice Brazilian jiu-jitsu weekly, and cull my closet down to 1930s and 1970s hourglass silhouettes and leg-lengthening nude heels.
I’m still in Honolulu for the holidays, per usual, and despite scoring a pair of brand new, black-and-white gingham Christian Louboutin espadrilles at Pzazz consignment store, I wish I had these Clarks Originals “Serin Sun” retro platform sandals for the rest of my trip. Simple and sunny, these Clarks “Serin Sun” platform sandals are also sure to complement my tan, which is — after two and a half weeks under the strong Hawaiian sun — a lovely and deeper shade of blue-white.
So why just wish?
Good question. I almost forgot my other New Year’s resolutions: take decisive action, and follow my New Year’s resolutions.
Still, the sandals aren’t my only option in nude: I can also order them in white, which is technically not a nude shoe, but may be closer to my actual skin tone and therefore my goal of wearing shoes that look like extensions of my feet and legs.
Maybe I should buy both pairs of shoes?
Am I going to have to spend my whole day deliberating upon this now, at the expense of telling stories and rolling around with a 200-lb. Brazilian MMA champion?
Maybe I should buy both pairs of shoes?
Hmmm…
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I’m in Hawaii for the holidays, per usual, and when I landed in Honolulu International Airport this time, I couldn’t help but notice regional architect Vladimir Ossipoff‘s furniture, designed when he helped modernize the airport in the 1970s. Russian-born and raised in Japan, you can see Ossipoff’s trademark blend of Eastern aesthetics greets Western modernism in this concrete and wood furniture that’s worn well through decades’ worth of weight of Hawaii’s hard sun… and the bums of obese American tourists.


I’m sitting here, in my Marlies Dekkers undies, about to indulge in my brekky of Edith Wharton’s collected works on my Kindle, Café Escapes Cafe Caramel, and a nutmeg donut with cinnamon and pecan frosting.
And the most indulgent part?
Not my Marlies Dekkers, not my millionth visit to The House of Mirth, and not the donut. The most indulgent part is my Café Escapes (in Cafe Caramel, please, thank you).
The Dutch lingerie’s a daily, you see, The Age of Innocence can teach me more about the world than The New York Times will, and the donut’s baked, gluten- and dairy-free, chock full of organic chia seeds, with a frosting made of Medjool dates and extra virgin coconut oil… C’est ne pas un donut.
But the Café Escapes in Cafe Caramel is really real, and too good to drown in almond-milk foam with a fancy swan drawn into it.
Though that might make for #abetterInstagrampic.
Easy enough next time — see that second Café Escapes K-Cup teed up?
How’s 10′ish?
FY to the I: Green Mountain Café Escapes coffee is giving away a spa basket — to two winners a day — and every Monday someone wins a grand-prize getaway weekend to spa in Atlanta or San Diego. Clicky click to win.
Café Escapes is the brand of hot, flavored indulgent beverages that provide you an everyday treat and a chance to relax and savor a moment of your day, whether at home or at work.

Disclosure: Compensation was provided by Green Mountain Coffee Roasters, Inc. via Glam Media. The opinions expressed herein are those of the author and are not indicative of the opinions or positions of Green Mountain Coffee Roasters, Inc.
Yes, I’m still wanting this museum-quality, vintage Halston jumpsuit, and yes, it’s still available. Apparently I’m not the only one holding back on blowing $2,100 for a cashmere catsuit.
Since everything popular is wrong, that may be the only justification I need to finally buy this…
I love that this Danskin knit boycut unitard vibes like a 1930s swimsuit. Perf for romping ’round the beach in…
I spent months hunting the perfect snake bracelet, and finally found it in this ouroboros bangle by Nadine Essra. The snake needed to be whittled down to Platonic purity, and biting its own tail, which is the ancient sign of ouroboros, symbolizing cyclicity, interpreted as a sign of infinity, roughly translating to ”my ending is my beginning” — an eternal truth I witness everyday.
To wit? I started my day in just a Marlies Dekkers thong, and here I am again…