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With a skull clasp capping a silver, minimalist coffin for your coins and keys, this Alexander McQueen bag is boss for the modern femme fatale.

Bury your celly in the Alexander McQueen clutch, and go murder men at your Monday meeting.

I mean “murder” figuratively. You know, business-wise.

Though if dude makes disparages your sex, you could accidentally step on his toes with your fuck-me f**k-you shoes.

I mean “accidentally” figuratively, and the “F**k you” for him–

Literally?

� Alexander McQueen skull clutch $1,010, Net-a-Porter

Though sashimi is delish, eel-skinned clutches deluxe, and little sharkskin frocks divine to rock, like any boss lady, I’m wary of things fishy. Dudes heavy dishing compliments, dolls lightly selling themselves short, and p.m. play plumped with hype smell a touch much like the Atlantic Ocean to me.

As does investing in a fish-scale Alexander McQueen “Novak” bag for more than 50% off, no matter how “mini” it is.

Vibing too good to be true –

Your K’s afraid it is.

Tagged “Sold out,” ladies, I suppose I’ll play real world instead of runway, I’ll stash my cash in stock instead.

Or stock up on other goodies at Net-a-Porter’s midseason sale.

Give me a double soy latte to decide.

� Mini Alexander McQueen “Novak” bag $566 via Net-a-Porter