I’m a sucker for A-line silhouettes, but I’m not sure I’ve seen a worse way to blow $500 than this Black Fleece pleated dress.

Unless you gave a gay man $500 to tell you you’ve got a figure that should be hidden under a tent, you’re more a girl than a woman, and you’re bad with money.

Wait, same difference…

Sporting this Martin Margiela polyester jacket requires confidence that squashes popular perception that a bloated, asymmetric, polyester baseball jacket isn’t high fashion, but simply highly unflattering.

That kind of faith might move mountains, and whoever has it only has to pay $478 to exercise it, instead of Martin Margiela polyester jacket‘s retail price of $1,195…

I don’t dig cloches because I’m a sucker for flapper fashion; I like flapper fashion because I’m a sucker for cloches. I love how those bell-shaped hats half-cover your eyes, so that you have to hold your head up hyper-high to look at the world.

That’s how a lady should always walk.

Too bad I didn’t see this Eugenia Kim black cloche while I was enjoying Aloha Rag’s sale on my Honolulu holiday…

I thought Sundance would be a perfect play time for my ’60s chocolate mink trenchcoat.

I also thought — think? — Giuseppe Zanotti shearling boots with a four-inch rubber wedge heel would be practical too.

But what about this Norma Kamali puffer jacket? Water-resistant, engineered for NASA spacesuit warmth, kept cozy with a self-tie belt –

You’re right, it’s probably too sporty for my first time snowshoe hiking…

I’m so bummed this Halston ultrasuede shirt dress and its matching hat and bag are sold, though the likelihood of me covering my bobbed hair or trading my Kelly bag to wear either is low. Sometimes I want to buy beautiful things just so other people who appreciate them less can’t have them; instead of giving away or selling old clothes sometimes I just shred them to pieces.

It’s a good thing I generally don’t like pets…

I’ve had a Norma Kamali-like shawl-collar wrap coat made into a different color for every season: chocolate tropical wool, blue sueded cotton, gray winter wool, etc…

But I’m eying this choice Halston ultrasuede robe coat.

You’re right, I need another minimalist wrap coat like I need another hand-etched, “K” initial pinky ring.

I’m buying it…

I’m such a sucker for simple, draping shapes. So why the hate for this NormaKamalibay shawl collar coat? I’m having a hard time clicking buy, since I’ve had a similar shawl-collared wrap coat copied into three different colors: chocolate tropical wool, bright white cotton, and a blue sueded cotton.

Wait, you’re right — I don’t own it in gray terry yet…

I almost only sport dresses less because I’m a prissy Krissi, and more because I’m a Kristopher: wearing one piece of clothing is easier. So I’m also a sucker for jumpsuits, though I don’t own many — most of them vibe too victim. But I dig this NormaKamalibay “Rectangle” jumpsuit‘s kimono sleeves and slash neckline.

Should I just get it? Like every piece of the NormaKamalibay collection, it’s under $300…

I love this jacket’s classic shape cleaned up and cushed out — it’s that tiny touch of puff that makes this NormaKamalibay sleeping bag jacket so choice.

I should wear less gray, but this Norma Kamali sleeping bag jacket drives me bananas, and Norma Kamali’s NormaKamalibay collection is exclusive to eBay…