Hating:

The worst part about these microfiber dust mop slippers is that I know they work.

If this is what a German shepherd has reduced me to, reproduction may be suicide…

Wanting:

Besides being distracted by behind-the-scenes, intense research for this blog, I’m consumed with decorating my 1929 Spanglish pad.  My interior designing was once limited to stacking Ayn Rand bios and Edith Wharton novels on the floor, but now I’m hunting for a waterfall coffee table that echoes my waterfall dining table, replacing brushed nickel cabinet knobs with iron Spanish Revival hardware, and –

Getting a new Jax and Bones faux leather pillow dog bed for Major Dukes, of course.

Some people assume Major sleeps in my bed.

Gross.

I love Major, and he’s better behaved, educated, and traveled than 99% of people.

But he’s dog.

A dog who told me I keep him up at night because I run in my sleep…

Using:

Give my German Shepherd Major Dukes anything and a few hours, and he’ll chew through it — including my Prada shoes, and excepting this Nylabone Rhino Rope Toy.

After replacing my make-you-sweat-blood P90X DVD workout with a brutal, bruising game of tug o’ war with Major, this is the only dog toy that’s lasted months.

Still, this Rhino Rope Toy would be better if it was shaped like a large man’s arm, and when Major bit it, it squeaked, “I’m sorry, lady, you can keep your vintage Hermes Herbag/“K” signet pinkie ring/Rolex with a unique dial…”

Staying:

The Wynn is a world away from everything else in Vegas, but the Aria Sky Suites at the City Center are an elevator ride away from a hidden dog park… MORE »

Wanting:

I had the billion-dollar idea of inventing a retractable leash built into a dog collar.

So did a few other companies.

And thank god the inc.’s beat me to the punch — it turns out a dog collar with a built-in retractable leash is a 50-grand brain fart. These retractable-leash collars are on sale here, here, and here.

The best is Bamboo Quick Control Collar — it’s the most subtly and intuitively designed collar with retractable leash, and works for dogs with necks up to 26″ big.

I’ll have to ask my German Shepherd Major Dukes if he thinks orange is choice…

Loving:

I’ve just received these photos from the lady who raised Major Dukes. When he was months old, she took him to Belgium. Who knew. Next I’ll discover that he was married before…

MORE »

Using:

My 911 had two backseats with a hump between them, making it an unsafe drive for Major Dukes and my car’s leather. After Googling hard for a dog car seat to fit a Porsche, nothing surfaced. So Rob Phillips at Phillips & Co. Hotrods built a custom ledge for Major to ride on. Now Major can nap safely while he’s driven around in a Porsche by a hot chick in Giuseppes.

Major’s the Jay-Z of dogs…

Wanting:

This James Perse limited-edition dog bed is true what works for the brand: carefully casual, California cool, with a ridick price tag.

I hate anything patterned — check that light text to the left — , and I still want this James Perse dog bed for Major Dukes…

Using:

Most well-edited dog stores, espesh in LA, aren’t really for dogs: they typically cater to expensive rats leashed to silicone toys.

Thankfully I just discovered Blue Collar dog store in Echo Park, a curated warehouse offering “supplies for the working dog.” Think collars with studs instead of crystals, camo-print mats instead of leopard pillows, and grass-fed bullies instead of tofu treats.

Was that a giggle because Major Dukes rides in a Porsche’s customized backseat?

He earned it. And since Major skirted a career in narcotics, hangs around a chick sporting Giuseppes and mink, he’s the Jay-Z of dogs…

Hating:

This elevated dog feeder tray table vibes like a rejected butler tray table from Jonathan Adler.

Is my bachelorette pad a W hotel for dogs?

Besides, elevated feeders are actually bad for big dogs…