Do you think it’s indulgent of me to buy Major Dukes a Cain & Able lavender dog bath gift basket? Am I ridiculous to think a German Shepherd, no matter how much he cost, appreciates lavender-themed, all-natural shampoo, conditioner, body spray, and paw salve?
Please.
Major’ll find aesthetic irony in the so-bad-it’s-good bone-shaped basket this Cain & Able lavender dog spa gift set comes in…
A lavender aromatherapy candle designed for a dog? For use “during bath time to help keep your pet calm and relaxed”?
As Major Dukes is better educated than 99.91% of mankind, he’s not sure if he’s more offended when pets are humanized for marketing reasons or out of misguided sincerity.
I told him the latter offends me more, but Major said after we finish taking photos for my blog, he’ll re-read Nietzsche’s Animal Philosophy and get back to me…
I was tempted to spritz Major Dukes with my daily L’Artisan Parfumeur, and though the scent’s not a high-note feminine, I didn’t think a dude dog ought to smell like a tubereuse.
But there’s something relaxing, fresh, and unisex about lavender.
Especially when Cain & Able lavender dog cologne doubles as a bug repellent and it’s spritzed on a 75-pound German Shepherd that’s faster and quieter than a bullet…
Major’s fur is all over my clothes…
The Y.Bowl elevated pet bowl seemed choice: matte black metal prongs offered my bachelorette pad chic minimalism; a large stainless steel bowl offered my German Shepherd Major Dukes easy drinking.
And a bath for his paws.
While Major Dukes is more skilled than most people, a little slurpy-slurp, and the Y.Bowl dog bowl was upside down on my carpet…
I bought The Dress — a simple racerback tank dress I’ve had copied using a rainbow of silk jerseys — from e-boutique SSense.
Its latest lookbook vibes like a change of direction for the straight store.
I’ve been thinking of taking stylized photos with Major Dukes, my new German shepherd, but they wouldn’t exactly look like this. Or this.
Her hair’s too big…
Go Pet Design’s modern designer dog crate gets praised as the Bertoia Chair of dog crates.
Go Pet Design’s modern wire dog crate is gorgeous, sure. But it’s hard to imagine it sitting seamlessly in your pad, or being cozy for your dog.
If you want a choice modern dog crate, why not choose one that looks and works like furniture?
This luxury wood dog crate is larger and cheaper than the DenHaus designer dog crate I suspect it’s heavily inspired by.
Ayn Rand biographies, Edith Wharton novels, and Jimmyjane candles stacked on the top, a highly trained German shepherd named Major Dukes lounging in the bottom.
So choice…
I’m getting a dog.
And not a toy poodle. Or even a well behaved standard poodle. I’m getting a German shepherd trained to be smarter than most humans. If my dog, Major Dukes, could speak English, he’d be the president of the United States.
I’ll share more about Major later. But first I’ve got to buy a dog crate for Major. I live in a little, loft-like bachelorette pad, so I need a modern dog crate that’ll double as Major’s bed and my side table. This modern wood dog crate, in black, is choice, but I’m not sure it’s big enough for Major…
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