Wanting.

La Perla makes Hepburn hip, men’s style silk PJs for $278. With overnight shipping at Neiman’s, these’ll arrive in time for MILF’s Mom’s Day. Gift yourself a pair, too, for being such lovely spawn…

Wearing.

I’m obsessed with Maggie Ward silk sweatpants. I sport them with a silk racerback tank and Givenchy platform peeptoes, but the silk sweatpants feel lusher worn just padding around my pad. More iconic than ironic, your mom will feel comfy in them, too. Grab a pair at Intermix…

Hating.

Men’s style silk pajamas in red satin are too Marilyn Monroe for me. But more than that, this is the same La Perla silk PJ that’s more classic in black — just double the price…

Wanting.

Jimmyjane massage is a happy coupling of brain and body: their Contour ceramic massage stone blends Beyond Euphoric massage lotion into your skin, while the lotion’s natural plant extracts help release Beta-Endorphins…

Using.

Jimmyjane massage candles burn beautifully: there’s a line between pleasure and pain, and the candle’s hot wax deliciously drip-drops up to it…

Hating.

Or “lazing” this Beyond Massage gift set? The Beyond Message kit is actually great: three Jimmyjane massage lotions come with a palette to mix on. It just seems too complicated for when you want to wind down, curl up, and be petted…

Wanting.

I’m in love with Blomus stainless steel everything, and especially Blomus stainless steel tea things. This Blomus double-filter teapot shows the elegance of minimalist design…

Using.

I’m loving tea as an alternative to wasting time in line at StarCoffeeBucksBean. This Blomus tea filter is perfect for the morning: tuck a little loose-leaf tea into it, and swirl it in your tea cup…

Hating.

This Blomus tea bag clip seems sloppy after the economical design of all their other tea pieces, though, on third thought, it’d be chic for DIY sachets…

Wanting.

I love that sapphire blue of this Alstermo Bruk attache. Only issue? It’s basically a box lined in linen, so I’m not sure how my MacBook would do in there…

Using.

I finally got my Alstermo Bruk cabin case. Alstermo Bruk began before Globe Trotter luxury luggage and it’s got the same vibe, for a third of the price: handcrafted, ultra-light elegance. Alstermo Bruk’s AMO-fiber^®, the patented material their luggage is made out of, is better than I thought: it’s got a subtle, snakeskinny texture…

Hating.

Cute briefcase, but Alstermo Bruk’s best work is in their AMO-fiber^®…

Wanting.

This Carl Mertens fireplace is how a woman should be: a primitive attraction stylized in the most controlled, urbane way.

Floating glass sandwiches stainless steel; this Carl Mertens table top fireplace burns up to four hours, depending on your size of flame…

Using.

This Carl Mertens table top fireplace is sexier than any candle.

Radiating heat as well as light, the oil-burning, stainless-steel logs come set atop a slate plate…

Hating.

A sleek cylinder of stainless steel, the perfect marriage of form and function, the only reason I’m hating this Carl Mertens lighter is because I didn’t know about it before I blew $100 on a Porsche Design lighter.

This Carl Mertens lighter is idealization, with a realistic price: $26…

Wanting.

Jimmyjane massage candles are the best: they burn clean, they smell wonderful, and they get even better when you blow them out.

I wonder how this Jimmyjane bourbon candle smells…

Using.

This Voluspa bourbon candle burns steady, and gives off a subtle vanilla scent, without any sugariness…

Hating.

There’s no way something so ugly can smell good…

Wanting.

Silk pillows are supposed to keep your face from wrinkling, but I’m convinced nothing but needles in 90210 will save you –

These silk-covered and silk-filled pillows just feel gorgeous.

Plus, KikiDM.com gives you 40% off, free shipping, and a bottle of signature body shimmer with promocode KDLOVE…

Using.

Just like anything silk, this 100% silk duvet is warm when you’re too cool, cool when you’re hot. And spoiling yourself will cost little more than settling for a decent duvet.

Please read that last sentence again, and swap out “duvet” with “dude,” “job,” and “overall quality of life”…

Hating.

Satin sheets are sexy, but red satin-polyester sheets?

I suppose they complement that leopard-print, pump-shaped chair, and the “Tramp” name necklace…

Wanting.

Roses arranged like women should be: highly stylized but classic. And useful as decoration…

Using.

I gifted them to myself. That’s what girls get when they give good brain…

Hating.

Gordon Gekko sent me these for Valentine’s Day, with a note. “Flowers are for wimps.” I saved the note…

Wanting.

From $882 to $624…

Using.

From $215 to $139…

Hating.

Wanting.

Candles typically bore me, but light this one up, let it melt, and drip, drip, drip onto someone…

Wearing.

Or “Using.” The only decoration in my place, besides a stack of books. It’s feminine without being girly…

Hating.

Cute and clever, but if you just need light, some dude name Edison invented something called a light bulb…