I’m uncomfortable in flats, but I bought these Giuseppe Zanotti riding boots so I can ride Major Dukes, my German Shepherd, sidesaddle.

Actually, I bought them for hiking the Grand Canyon with him in March.

I plan on photographing all that natural beauty: I’ll limit my smoky eye to three shades of shadow, and cut Major’s collars down to two.

That big slash in the earth might make it into some pictures, too…

Wanting.

These Giuseppe platform peeptoes are perfect: design equal parts interesting and classic, sex that dances between obvious and elegant….

Wearing.

The patent black of these Giuseppe Zanotti peeptoes ties the T-strap to that patterned platform…

Hating.

Being well dressed is wearing things that background your beauty, not distract from it. These loud Giuseppes are perfect for the ugly chick with the bad boob job…

Wanting.

Get an extra 20% off with code “WINTERUSA.”

That tags these Giuseppes $285…

Wearing.

Hating.

Wanting.

So a mosaic mirror heel on a patent leather ankle boot vibes a little Beyonce…

Wearing.

A sculptural mirror heel looks even bolder balancing a plain patent pump…

Hating.

That chrome plus a low heel makes these Giuseppe Zanotti mirror heels smell musty mod… ]]> http://www.kristopherdukes.com/2009/01/07/giuseppe-zanotti-mirror-shoes-k-is/feed 1 http://www.kristopherdukes.com/2008/10/21/giuseppe-booties-k-is http://www.kristopherdukes.com/2008/10/21/giuseppe-booties-k-is#comments Wed, 22 Oct 2008 04:11:37 +0000 Kristopher http://www.kristopherdukes.com/?p=1351

Wanting.

Maybe when I’m plastic, divorced, and old (say, 25) I’ll give into the elegance of Louboutin. Till then, I’m all over Giuseppe’s quirky sex…

Wearing.

Simple, sculptural, and 52% off. Since they don’t come in other colors, buy three pairs. You’ll wear them forever. Or at least until you’re 25…

Hating.

Are they pumps? Are they boots? Are they hot? Simply since I ponder them a la Carrie from Monogamy and the City, I hate these…

Wearing.

I have these in chrome. The patent’s disco doll, the T-strap Fitzgerald flapper, the whole shoe an extra 20% off with promocode “summer”…

Wanting.

Giuseppe crafts jewelry for your feet. Unlike lazy Loubies, these Giuseppes are good enough to make a gray T-shirt dress seem chic…

Hating.

A waste of Giuseppe’s genius. Dull gray suede that slips over your leg and falls flat. Completely craftless, the most blah boot …

Wanting.

Pair this foot-jewelry with a gray tank dress, and go on a date with yourself…

Wearing.

I love the drama of this heel. Yeah, real 90210. It even stole one of my toyfriends…

Hating.

What a waste of a dead animal. PETA should protest this skin on a flat shoe..

Wanting.

Such minimalist luxe, that it’s Dali darling instead of cheap cheek…

Wearing.

Delish, though I had a bottle of Paris a friend gave me, and it got more compliments…

Hating.

Let’s slap “KD” on an overpriced cowhide sewn in China, and call it designer…

Sluts rarely realize that making lust is making a trade of respect. Sluts never know that sex is the top expression of admiration, that an orgasm is pure pleasure achieved appreciating the one you’re with.

Sluts don’t do 99 dudes they esteem. Sluts sleep with a single loser they barely understand; they’re missionaries about monogamy with partners who never value them.

Sluts lead an empty life full of unchosen, Platonic pals. Sluts–

Won’t wear f**k-you shoes like these.

Breaking up with your toyfriend.

If there’s something to work out, it’s not working.

And if you end up missing five hard inches of smart sex, buy Giuseppes.

They’ll do you better, I promise.

If only because they can’t talk and demand you menage with other chicks.