Giuseppe Zanotti shoes with hidden wedge $654, Couture.Zappos.com

pas·sive ag·gres·sive in·come [pas-iv uh-gres-iv in-kuhm] noun. income you thought would be passive, but you have to secretly work for.

Ex: You thought your rich fiancé was easy money, but he’s turned into passive-aggressive income: you need to arrange threesomes to keep your stock of Giuseppes multiplying.

I need your advice. I want to find the best dress to match my fabulous shoes. It is a leopard-skin and red patent leather Guiseppe Zanotti shoe. Suggestions on the type of dress to showcase the shoe?
- Raysa

Your boss Giuseppe Zanotti shoes say it all: sex isn’t dirty or mushy.

Sex is sharp like a 4¼” stiletto, rough like leopard-print ponyskin, sex should be ambitiously arched, and sex will–

Cost you.

Just like this jersey turtleneck Bi La Li dress. A slightly second-skin cover-up set off by an open back, like your Giuseppe Zanotti shoes, the shift says you’re a freak on the streets and a lady between the sheets.

Wait, scratch that, reverse it.

Then bend it over backwards.

XXXO,
K

» Giuseppe Zanotti shoes $599, Couture.Zappos.com

» Bi La Li dress $400, eLUXURY

With the funeral of the N-word performed by NAACP delegates determined to bury “greatest child racism ever birthed,” it’s time to mourn in your best black.

A racial slur worthy of the compliment of a funeral ceremony literally attended by hundreds, virtually witnessed by millions thanks to its front-page spread on CNN.com deserves only the most respectful black, a la these rhinestone Giuseppe Zanotti shoes.

Funeral black but as showy as a Jay-Z jam about yachts and N-words, these Giuseppe Zanotti shoes are fitting for the Paris Hilton-worthy publicity and controversy-cache the N-word has received thanks to its burial (all of which will of course dissuade rappers eager for publicity from using the slur).

I can only hope the passing-on of the W-word–cough, “whitey,” cough–gets such a celebratory ceremony and pretty PR.

I’d love to break in a boss LBD that makes my white ass bootylicious.

» Rhinestone Giuseppe Zanotti shoes $650, eLUXURY

Just because LiLo’s top is half off doesn’t make her hot, and–

Same goes for metallic Marc-y Marc Jacobs flats.

You deserve only the most boss from Barney’s sale, lovelies.

Sandals iced with mink vibe the max in gratuitous fur, in lavishly anti-Bambi luxe, but really —

It’s only because your girl named Kristopher adores animals more than PETA that she’s lusting for these Giuseppe Zanotti shoes, these mink and purple velvet babies, baby.

I’d love to add a new pet to my menagerie —

Snaky clutches, Marc-y Marc Jacobs leopard-print trenches, ostrich-skinned arm candy, ponyhair pumps, lamb capelets crowd my L.A. zoo so far.

— And my jazz baby-era building won’t allow standard-sized poodles.

» Velvet and mink Giuseppe Zanotti shoes $336 via Bluefly

[Republished from ThisNext's blog]

Kristopher:

Hi, Friday emergency call.

I’m a maid of honor in my best friend’s wedding overseas. The wedding is taking place in a colonial cathedral by the beach. Nice, right? Not. The dress code had only a horrific word next to it which my subconscience ignored conveniently: WHITE. The wedding is in 15 days and I have to pull off a wedding outfit ensemble that looks chic enough to have my ex (he’s gonna be the best man) drool over my virginal whiteness… May I mention I’m in New York! There’s barely any store with anything white that looks remotely decent. I need help, an intervention from the gods, a latte, anything! INSIGHT!!!

In luv with your blog always,
Em

And I’m in love with you, Ems.But before we get married, let’s get you your intervention from the gods, insight, and a soy latte rolled into one petite, chic, and smoky-eyed package –
Let your K help you style your wedding with your ex.

Too tall heels that spell S-E-X come before your requisite little white dress, always, and especially given your situation, doll. Check these Giuseppe Zanotti shoes ($595, eLUXURY), a 4.25″gladiator of a wedge, which’ll rock right with this white frock.

Now go get your beach party on, love.

Outside of Manhattan winters, here’s how you get your K in jeans -

Have Giuseppe Zanotti line denim in leather, stitch it second-skin tight, found it on a 4½” heel, top it with a white leather cuff.

S-E-X with my Italiano lover Giuseppe Zanotti, glammy dead animals, and a too-tall heel?

I’m there.

» Preorder denim Giuseppe Zanotti boot $850, Saks.

A holiday silver leather topped and lined with rabbit fur, founded on a four-inch wedge heel…

This Giuseppe Zanotti boot is:

A. This Giuseppe Zanotti boot is ridiculous.

B. This Giuseppe Zanotti boot is anti-Ugg, but still ridiculous.

C. This Giuseppe Zanotti boot is Kristopher’s early Christmas gift to herself, but still ridiculous.

D. This Giuseppe Zanotti boot is all of the above.

And still fabulously ridiculous.

» Metallic rabbit-trimmed Giuseppe Zanotti boot $800 via Saks.

Giuseppe Zanotti knows how to please the ladies.

A cognac leather is smooth, charming, and keeps this Giuseppe Zanotti boot comfortably attractive.

A rabbit trim is spoil-you-luxe, soft-to-your-touch on this Giuseppe Zanotti boot.

I’d write something along the lines of a hard 4¼” heel keeping you on your toes all night long -

But that’d be a touch much.

» Rabbit-trimmed Giuseppe Zanotti boots $1,025 at Neiman Marcus.

Maybe it’s my being the only porcelain-skinned doll around, maybe the natives can smell I don’t own flip-flops, maybe I talk a little trash about Los Angeles, but people assume I’m a Manhattanite transplant that hates on LA, though I’m actually, like, totally, from La La Land.

And I don’t hate Los Angeles.

There are exactly three things I like about the glammy beach town:

Sipping soy lattes at the Getty Center.

Ridiculously fab weather that lets me rock these spring green, cork platform Giuseppe Zanotti shoes year-round.

And -

Okay, so just two.

» Giuseppe Zanotti shoes ($270) via Amazon.com