Sandals iced with mink vibe the max in gratuitous fur, in lavishly anti-Bambi luxe, but really —

It’s only because your girl named Kristopher adores animals more than PETA that she’s lusting for these Giuseppe Zanotti shoes, these mink and purple velvet babies, baby.

I’d love to add a new pet to my menagerie —

Snaky clutches, Marc-y Marc Jacobs leopard-print trenches, ostrich-skinned arm candy, ponyhair pumps, lamb capelets crowd my L.A. zoo so far.

— And my jazz baby-era building won’t allow standard-sized poodles.

» Velvet and mink Giuseppe Zanotti shoes $336 via Bluefly

[Republished from ThisNext's blog]

Mamma Earth, your K knows cotton and linen and hemp have endured centuries of being plucked from being warm and cozy sun-soaked fields, of being tormented and twisted into gorgeous garments for others’ pure pleasure and profit.

So I’ll save a plant on your big day, and rock instead this vintage ’60s minky mink.

Tailored tight to highlight my hot hourglass, it’s a classically luxe coat in espresso black that’s really a figurative green –

Vintage mink is how girls named Kristopher do recycling.

» Vintage ’60s mink coat $1,405 via Posh Girl Vintage

[Republished from ThisNext's blog.]

So your K’s been going a little handbag happy around here -

Let’s take a breather, ladies, and dig this mink Coach key chain.

One – but not you – might misthink this mignon mink Coach key chain is a gratuitous celebration of fur, and I’m posting about it simply to court PETA love and therefore easy publicity.

But this pinky chic Coach mink key chain is practical luxe.

You’d be le shocked how cold your keys get in Los Angeles winters.

» Coach mink key chain $109 via eBay.

Patricia Green mink slippers make your most boss lady’s list of must-haves, ’cause:

Mink slippers – doubly luxe lined in shearling – protect her worth-their-weight-in-gold Chanel satin-tipped toes.

Mink-y mink slippers are the only jolie-ugly, fur-lined flats she’ll do; even Kate Moss couldn’t convince her of Mukluks.

Mink slippers will be her fav pet; her skyrise building wouldn’t allow her to house a teacup poodle.

Fortunately for me and my dot-com.

‘Cause suggesting a teacup poodle wouldn’t get me free press from PETA love as quickly.

» Patricia Green mink slippers $215 via Saks.

Ooh la love.

A mink-trimmed Salvatore Ferragamo handbag is practical luxe, because:

A mink Salvatore Ferragamo hobo lets me meet my glammy dead animal quota in Los Angeles’ 60°F winters.

A mink Salvatore Ferragamo handbag keeps my Treo toasty, unlike my snakey clutch.

A completely mink Salvatore Ferragamo handbag would just be ridiculous.

Though I’d rock one.

.

» Mink-trimmed Salvatore Ferragamo handbag $1,590 via Neiman Marcus.