Seeing

I just saw Cirque du Soleil’s Kooza under a big-top tent bordered by beach fog and the Santa Monica Pier.

I’d tell you how amazing Kooza was — the beautifully boneless contortionists, the ballet on a unicycle, the audience seamlessly woven into the theatrics –

But I may as well tell you a Porsche has four wheels, an engine, and is designed to drive.

You need to go see it…

Reading

I’m on a new diet. Every day I wake up to an hour at the gym, down matcha green tea and fresh fruit for breakfast, and eat VeginOut delivered meals for lunch and dinner — except Sunday.

On the lord’s day, while in Giuseppe blue satin slippers and Marlies Dekkers panties, I consume a bag of Uncle Eddies vegan cookies and flip through Helmut Newton’s Playboy photography.

The key is to eat the cookies until you feel sick, and to stare at Helmut Newton’s photos until those shots of long models’ legs begin to slice the “sur” out of “surreal.” Like Newton’s play of gleaming glam and subconscious camp, it’s all about balance.

And Oscar Wilde said moderation is fatal thing…

Hating

This Salvador Dali perfume bottle, if you believe its seller, looks and smells as good as when it was created in 1985. With a frosted glass nose and a Dali-signed pair of lips, the real appeal is the Salvador Dali-designed perfume bottle, though the scent is supposedly as charming, and picked by Dali: a blend of rose and jasmine, the rose celebrated Mrs. Dali’s rose garden, while Dali wore a sprig of jasmise behind his ear as he believed the flower to be a hallucinogen.

So why do I hate such a charming piece of art? I can’t figure out how to justify buying this Salvador Dali perfume bottle, since I’ve been stuck on a non-transferable perfume for years. Though for forty bucks, who cares…

Wanting

Usually called the Cartier “Dali” watch, Cartier’s melted watch is really the Cartier “Crash” watch, and Salvador Dali had nothing to do with the design, though he’d appreciate the twisted story:

“A vice president from the Cartier offices in London was involved in a fatal car crash. A fire ensued and the occupant along with his watch was caught up in the flames… “melting” the watch on his wrist, a Cartier Bagnoire Alongee, which is shaped like an elongated oval. The watch being melted and mangled took on the shape of a surrealistic watch from a Dali painting… Cartier found this “watch design” inspiring, and decided to introduce is as a new design, as a tribute to their fallen colleague.”

Cartier “Crash”/”Dali” watches are rare, though they had a few runs: first in the 1960s, 300 18K gold pieces were made in 1991, a special platinum edition was made in 1993, and Cartier re-released the “Crash” watch as a ladies’ diamond dress watch. The last edition of the Cartier “Crash”/”Dali” watch comes in 18K yellow, white, or rose gold. The rose gold “Crash” watch is the most choice: it’s set with rare, rose diamonds. Even if you can find one, the rose gold Cartier “Crash” watch retailed for $73,000…

Wearing

Before Murakami stamped cherry blossoms onto Louis Vuitton bags, Salvador Dali designed a “Bird In Hand” compact for compact manufacturer Elgin in 1952. Sweetly Surrealist, the bird’s wings lift to reveal powder, the tail hides a space for pills, and you tug off the bird’s head to access your tube of lipstick. Salvador Dali “Bird In Hand” compact comes in satin bronze, too, but this sterling silver version is choice, espesh with 14K overlay on its wings…

Wearing

So I listen to too much Jay-Z.

Months ago, I had a pinkie ring planned: a white gold square up to my little knuckle, with a “K” lightly hand-etched on.

And then I saw this photo of Coco Chanel.

Of course…

Wanting

How simply choice is a thumbprint replacing a family crest on a signet ring? But since this ring is pimped by a gallery, I wonder: is this Gerd Rothmann “Signet” ring a statement about vain individuality replacing tribal pride? Or is fingerprinting a “signet” ring — which were traditionally used to authenticate official documents — a wink at how privacy and security have dissolved? Or –

Could any other blog post better illustrate that I have a bachelors degree in Pseudo-Intellectual Masturbating?

Let’s discuss…