Using:

You’ve got 13 more hours to stock up on Booty Parlor goodies, half-off on Hautelook.com.

One of my favs is Booty Parlor’s “Vanilla Chai Latte” skin honey.

Wait, did you make it with soy…

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Hating

I love the concept of Arosha Luigi Taglia’s “Golden Highway” ring: an abstract, sterling silver skyline dotted with small diamonds winking like skyscraper windows, while an 18K gold highway winds through the city.

I love the idea. The execution? Not so much. I wish it were tinier.

Somehow that reminds me of how I feel about Beyoncé…

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Wearing

I love this sterling silver inner message ring by Jungyun Yoon. Inspired by a Korean pop song about finding the tattoo of a suntan after finally slipping off an ex-lover’s ring, when you take off this inner message ring your finger is stamped with a message. Jungyun Yoon asks you to imagine slipping off this plain ring after your lover’s just given it, to discover your finger reading “Marry me.” Or sliding off this simple ring to wash your hands, and seeing that your ring finger reads “Always.”

So romantic, espesh since I’m gifting this choice ring to myself…

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Wanting

I’ve always been a sucker for boulder-sized cocktail rings. When I was ten I had a giant ring like a moving museum: three little mosquitos were trapped inside amber-colored acrylic. When I was 20 I had a vintage resin ring sprinkled with a starburst of aurora borealis stones. Now — at age 18 — I only sport a custom “K” signet pinkie ring. Still, this choice Naye Quiros pyramid ring — inspired by Cairo’s pyramids — is super tempting…

Hating

Booty Parlor’s tickler and spanker is cute, but does a tease of pleasure always have to be balanced with a slap of pain? Is Booty Parlor’s tickle and spank wand a metaphor for America’s Puritan approach to sex? Don’t you find spanking rather degrading, for a man or a woman?

No?

Bad dog.  Let’s find out if we can change your mind…

Wanting

Booty Parlor Bath Kitten is a kit of lush bath milk and a “purring” bath mitt.

As if I didn’t have a hard enough time getting out of the bath already.

You know, while consuming all-engrossing Ayn Rand ebooks. Booty Parlor’s Bath Kitten‘s copywriting looks equally tempting…

Using

Booty Parlor Skin Honey is “kissable three-in-one body topping, massage gel and personal lubricant.” Laced with aphrodisiacs, honey extract, and goji berry, Booty Parlor’s Skin Honey in Vanilla Honey Chai is as delicious as it pimps itself.

So is it wrong I’ve taken to snacking on it?

Literally?

Hating

I can’t think of anything heart-shaped I’d dig; I wouldn’t even want a heart shaped like a heart.

The only way I’d dig this Kiki James leather heart box is if it was holding a skull-and-bones pinky ring as a gift.

And if it self-destructed after I took said ring about of the heart-shaped box…

Staying

Noted for its therapeutic mineral waters, Sagewater Spa‘s pools are best at night. Filled by nearby mineral springs that steam at a steady 90°F, walking into the pool feels like melting into the desert air. The sky is as black as the desert valley rolling below the resort’s windowed walls, and the air and sand blend together, one lit by galaxies’ lightbulbs, the other by electric stars marking the personal universe of a kitchen. With just a dry breeze to whisper at me, I feel like I’m in the middle of an ocean of nowhere, the pool the prow of my ship.

Plus, Sagewater Spa greeted me with home-baked coffee cake that even The Los Angeles Times raves about…

Wanting

Made of plum satin, waisted with black chiffon, and finished with a triangular peephole in the back, this Brulee open-back teddy is a choice piece for special occasions.

Like the rare time I feel the need to get dressed up for work at home, such as this Thursday, when I’ll enjoy Thai takeout at my desk.

It’s this level of dedication to professionalism that’s kept me from firing myself over the years…